In this episode of Beyond Your WHY Podcast, we’re privileged to host Robert Glazer, a distinguished entrepreneur, author, and the Founder and CEO of Acceleration Partners. Recognized for his contributions to performance marketing, culture-building, and leadership development, Glazer has been named #2 on Glassdoor’s list of Top CEOs of Small and Medium Companies in the US. His profound understanding of business dynamics and leadership makes this episode a must-listen for anyone aiming to elevate their personal and professional journey.
Join us and delve into:
The Importance of Core Values: Discover how these guiding principles, unique to each individual or organization, shape decisions and behaviors, and learn why it’s crucial to identify and uphold your core values.
The Impact of Overusing Strengths: Understand how over-reliance on strengths can lead to challenges, such as micromanagement or lack of delegation, and learn strategies to balance and effectively utilize your strengths.
The Intersection of Core Values and WHY: Explore the powerful connection between a person’s core values and their “why”, and how understanding this intersection can offer deep insights into behavior and motivations.
Don’t miss this chance to learn from one of the industry’s most respected leaders. Tune into the episode now to uncover valuable insights that can transform your approach to life and work.
[00:36:27] Core values and organizational rewards.
[00:42:35] Psychological safety in organizations.
[00:43:38] Mental and physical health for leaders.
[00:48:12] Manifestation and Friday Forward.
[00:52:56] The best piece of advice.
Listen to the podcast here
Uncovering the Secrets of Leadership with Robert Glazer on Beyond Your WHY Podcast
In the ever-evolving world of entrepreneurship and leadership, it’s crucial to stay ahead of the curve by learning from the best. The Beyond Your WHY Podcast, known for its insightful discussions with industry leaders, recently hosted an episode featuring Robert Glazer, a name synonymous with innovation and leadership excellence. Glazer, the founder and CEO of Acceleration Partners, is a celebrated author and a recognized authority in performance marketing and culture-building. His unique insights and strategies have earned him a spot as #2 on Glassdoor’s list of Top CEOs of Small and Medium Companies in the US.
The Importance of Core Values in Leadership
One of the key takeaways from this episode is the significance of core values in leadership. Glazer emphasizes that core values are not just buzzwords but guiding principles that have been true since childhood. They are the things most important to us and when violated, can cause discomfort or discord. These values are used to make decisions and should be unique to the individual or the organization. In the competitive business landscape, understanding and upholding these values can be a game-changer.
The Double-Edged Sword of Strengths
Another enlightening point Glazer brings to the table is the impact of overusing strengths. While strengths are crucial for success, over-reliance on them can lead to problems. For instance, a leader with a “better way” mindset might struggle with micromanagement or a lack of delegation. This insight underscores the importance of balance and self-awareness in leadership, reminding us that even our strengths can become weaknesses if not properly managed.
The Intersection of Core Values and Why
Perhaps one of the most profound insights from the episode is the intersection between a person’s core values and their “why”. Glazer explains that there is a strong connection between what we value most and our motivations. Understanding this intersection can offer deep insights into our behavior and motivations, ultimately leading to more effective leadership and personal growth.
This episode with Robert Glazer is a treasure trove of leadership insights and strategies. Whether you’re an aspiring entrepreneur, a seasoned business leader, or someone interested in personal development, these takeaways can provide valuable guidance. Tune into the Beyond Your WHY Podcast to learn from industry leaders like Glazer and discover how to elevate your personal and professional journey.
If you love the show, please don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review and rating on whatever platform you are using. Thank you so much for being here. I will see you in the next episode.
In this episode of Beyond Your WHY Podcast, we are joined by the remarkable Joel Weldon, a Hall of Fame speaker and renowned speaking skills coach. Weldon’s journey from a shy, self-conscious individual to a top-tier speaker is a testament to his belief in the power of mindset and the importance of effective communication. His story is not just inspiring, but also provides valuable insights for anyone looking to improve their speaking skills and personal growth.
By tuning into this episode, you will discover:
The Impact of Mindset: Joel shares his experience of struggling in sales until he changed his mindset. He learned from Earl Nightingale’s “The Strangest Secret” that “you become what you think about,” which led to a dramatic improvement in his sales performance.
The Power of Speaking: Understand why communication skills and public speaking are crucial in personal and professional growth, potentially increasing one’s value by 50%.
The Impact of One Idea: Hear Joel’s personal experience on how a single idea or sentence can change your life forever.
Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn from Joel Weldon’s transformative journey and his invaluable insights on effective communication. Listen to the episode now and take the first step towards enhancing your speaking skills and personal growth.
[00:09:41] Self-confidence and missed opportunities.
[00:14:17] A life-changing sales opportunity.
[00:18:09] The power of changing thinking.
[00:23:37] Toastmasters speech contest journey.
[00:27:06] Overcoming the fear of failure.
[00:29:15] Getting paid for speaking.
[00:34:23] The impact of punchlines.
[00:39:03] Power words that make impact.
[00:49:08] Setting up a quote.
[00:52:01] Effective goal setting techniques.
[00:55:15] The power of “even”.
[00:59:51] The power of goals.
[01:05:08] Thinking about your audience.
[01:09:10] Demographics and audience analysis.
[01:14:24] Knowing the audience for success.
[01:19:26] Using audience members’ names.
[01:23:42] Enthusiasm and storytelling.
Listen to the podcast here
From Shy to World-Class Speaker: Joel Weldon’s Secrets to Becoming a Powerful Speaker
Joel Weldon: A Master Speaker and Coach
In the ever-evolving world of personal development and professional growth, one name stands out – Joel Weldon. A Hall of Fame speaker and renowned speaking skills coach, Weldon’s transformative journey and insights are the centerpiece of a riveting episode of the Beyond Your WHY Podcast.
The Profound Impact of Mindset
One of the key takeaways from this episode is the profound impact of mindset on our lives. Weldon shares his personal experience of struggling in sales until he changed his mindset. He learned from Earl Nightingale’s “The Strangest Secret” that “you become what you think about,” which led to a dramatic improvement in his sales performance. This powerful message resonates with anyone striving for success, emphasizing the importance of a positive and focused mindset.
The Power of Speaking
Another major highlight of the episode is the power of speaking. Weldon underscores why communication skills and public speaking are crucial in personal and professional growth. Echoing Warren Buffett’s statement, he suggests that mastering these skills can potentially increase one’s value by 50%. This is a must-listen for entrepreneurs, leaders, and professionals who want to enhance their communication skills and make a greater impact.
The Transformative Impact of Ideas
Lastly, Weldon shares how a single idea or sentence can change your life forever. His personal experience is a testament to the transformative power of ideas, making this episode a treasure trove of inspiration and wisdom.
A Stepping Stone to Your Success
Listening to this episode of Beyond Your WHY Podcast with Joel Weldon is more than just a learning experience. It’s a journey into the mind of a master speaker and coach, offering invaluable insights into effective communication, the power of mindset, and the transformative impact of ideas. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn from one of the best in the field. Tune into the Beyond Your WHY Podcast and let Joel Weldon guide you towards enhancing your speaking skills and personal growth. This is not just a podcast episode, it’s a stepping stone to your success.
If you love the show, please don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review and rating on whatever platform you are using. Thank you so much for being here. I will see you in the next episode.
About Joel Weldon
Imagine this: you are so terrified to stand up and speak to people that you avoid it until, at age 28, you finally decide to give your first presentation. Joel Weldon began his 48-year career as a Hall of Fame Professional Speaker exactly like that, and NOT because he was amazing on that day. In fact, it was the result of feedback from an audience member, who said, “You are the worst speaker I have ever heard in my entire life.” What would you have done if somebody said this after your first effort overcoming your greatest fear?
Joel decided on that very day that he would learn how to speak effectively, and did he ever! In the four decades that followed that life-changing event, Joel was paid to speak at over 3,000 events around the world. His unique business card is an 8 ounce can that says, “Success Comes in Cans not in Can nots.” Over half a million people have his success can as a constant reminder of what they CAN do.
Some people do, and some people teach, Joel excels at both. Joel is all about results and has personally coached over 10,000 speakers. He created a system to enable any speaker to deliver a powerful message with clarity and impact, whether in person or virtually. Joel Weldon’s “Ultimate Speaking System” is designed to help business owners, entrepreneurs and individuals use speaking to grow their business by getting the results they want. Joel’s philosophy is simply this: make your message impossible to be misunderstood, because speaking is simple, when you have a system.
Joel’s commitment to health and fitness is evident by his energy level, which his clients always recognize as one of his unique qualities. In addition to working full-time as a speaker and speaking skills coach, Joel spends over 60 days every year on the water — skiing, surfing and “air-chairing” on a slalom course. He has been married to his high school sweetheart, Judy, for 59 years, has 2 daughters who work with him every day, and 4 wonderful grandchildren.
In this episode of the Beyond Your WHY Podcast, join host Dr. Gary Sanchez as he welcomes Joel Weldon, a renowned speaker and expert in communication skills. Joel’s journey from being paid just $25 for his first speech to commanding $25,000 per presentation showcases his expertise and the value he brings to the table. With over 274 presentations in 1974 alone, Joel’s speaking system has been refined through years of experience, making him a trusted authority in the field.
Listen and uncover…
The Power of “You”: Discover how addressing your audience directly as individuals can create a deeper connection and engagement, elevating your speaking skills to new heights.
Secrets of Impactful Openings and Closings: Learn how to captivate your audience from the very beginning and leave a lasting impression with powerful closing statements, ensuring your message resonates long after you’ve finished speaking.
Harnessing the Power of Quotes: Understand why quotes are an essential tool in your speaking arsenal, and learn how to effectively utilize them to amplify your message and engage your listeners.
If you’re looking to enhance your communication skills, connect with your audience on a deeper level, and transform your speaking abilities, this episode is a must-listen. Join Dr. Gary Sanchez and Joel Weldon as they share invaluable insights and strategies that will help you become a more effective and influential speaker. Tune in now to unlock the secrets of persuasive speaking and unleash your full speaking potential.
Listen to the full episode now to gain valuable knowledge and take your speaking skills to the next level.
[00:10:39] Always open with the point of the story.
[00:12:28] Overcoming fear of public speaking.
[00:17:30] One idea can change your life forever.
[00:21:13] The power of mindset.
[00:24:09] Different thinking.
[00:26:29] The worst speaker ever.
[00:33:17] Joining the Toastmasters Club.
[00:34:19] Man under construction.
[00:38:54] Overcoming the fear of failure.
[00:43:03] Systematizing speaking techniques.
[00:49:00] The ordinary speaker’s opening.
[00:51:21] Talk to the audience as if it’s only one person.
[00:55:13] Using “I” vs “You”.
[01:01:21] Impactful use of quotes.
[01:03:11] The power of words.
Listen to the podcast here
Unleash Your Speaking Potential with Joel Weldon: Master the Art of Persuasive Communication
Are you ready to take your speaking skills to new heights and captivate your audience like never before? In this blog post, we delve into an insightful podcast episode featuring Joel Weldon, a renowned speaker and expert in communication skills. Join us as we explore the key takeaways from this episode and discover the power of Joel Weldon’s expertise in transforming your speaking abilities.
Unveiling the Power of Joel Weldon
Joel Weldon’s journey from earning a humble $25 for his first speech to commanding $25,000 per presentation is a testament to his remarkable expertise and influence in the speaking world. With an impressive track record of delivering over 274 presentations in 1974 alone, Joel has honed his speaking system into a powerful tool that can help individuals unlock their full speaking potential.
The Power of “You”
One of the major highlights of this episode is the emphasis on addressing your audience directly as individuals. By using the word “you” throughout your speech, you create a deeper connection and engagement with your listeners. This powerful technique elevates your speaking skills, allowing you to connect with your audience on a personal level and make a lasting impact.
Secrets of Impactful Openings and Closings
Joel Weldon shares valuable insights on crafting impactful openings and closings. By captivating your audience from the very beginning and leaving them with a powerful closing statement, you ensure that your message resonates long after you’ve finished speaking. Learn the art of creating memorable and engaging openings and closings that leave a lasting impression on your audience.
Harnessing the Power of Quotes
Quotes can be a game-changer in your speaking arsenal, and Joel Weldon reveals their true potential. Discover how to effectively utilize quotes to amplify your message, engage your listeners, and add credibility to your speech. Joel’s expert advice on incorporating quotes will help you elevate your speaking skills and deliver compelling presentations that leave a lasting impact.
Why Joel Weldon is a Game-Changer
Joel Weldon’s wealth of experience and expertise make him a trusted authority in the field of speaking. His insights and strategies have helped countless individuals transform their communication skills and become more effective and influential speakers. By implementing Joel’s proven techniques, you can unlock your full speaking potential and captivate any audience with your persuasive communication.
If you’re eager to enhance your communication skills and become a more effective speaker, this podcast episode featuring Joel Weldon is a must-listen. With his invaluable insights into the power of “you,” impactful openings and closings, and harnessing the potential of quotes, you’ll gain the tools needed to elevate your speaking abilities. Don’t miss out on this opportunity to learn from one of the industry’s best. Tune in now and unleash your full speaking potential with Joel Weldon
If you love the show, please don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review and rating on whatever platform you are using. Thank you so much for being here. I will see you in the next episode.
About Joel Weldon
Imagine this: you are so terrified to stand up and speak to people that you avoid it until, at age 28, you finally decide to give your first presentation. Joel Weldon began his 48-year career as a Hall of Fame Professional Speaker exactly like that, and NOT because he was amazing on that day. In fact, it was the result of feedback from an audience member, who said, “You are the worst speaker I have ever heard in my entire life.” What would you have done if somebody said this after your first effort overcoming your greatest fear?
Joel decided on that very day that he would learn how to speak effectively, and did he ever! In the four decades that followed that life-changing event, Joel was paid to speak at over 3,000 events around the world. His unique business card is an 8 ounce can that says, “Success Comes in Cans not in Can nots.” Over half a million people have his success can as a constant reminder of what they CAN do.
Some people do, and some people teach, Joel excels at both. Joel is all about results and has personally coached over 10,000 speakers. He created a system to enable any speaker to deliver a powerful message with clarity and impact, whether in person or virtually. Joel Weldon’s “Ultimate Speaking System” is designed to help business owners, entrepreneurs and individuals use speaking to grow their business by getting the results they want. Joel’s philosophy is simply this: make your message impossible to be misunderstood, because speaking is simple, when you have a system.
Joel’s commitment to health and fitness is evident by his energy level, which his clients always recognize as one of his unique qualities. In addition to working full-time as a speaker and speaking skills coach, Joel spends over 60 days every year on the water — skiing, surfing and “air-chairing” on a slalom course. He has been married to his high school sweetheart, Judy, for 59 years, has 2 daughters who work with him every day, and 4 wonderful grandchildren.
Embark on an extraordinary journey of personal and professional growth in the latest episode of the podcast series. Join us as we delve into the inspiring story of Brandon Mergard, a trailblazing leader in the coaching industry. From humble beginnings in customer support to assuming the role of CEO, Brandon shares his remarkable path and the transformative power of stakeholder-centered coaching.
In this captivating conversation, Brandon unveils the evolution of coaching, highlighting the pivotal role it plays in leadership development. Discover how he revolutionized the traditional coaching model by integrating innovative strategies and implementing a culture of continuous improvement. With a keen focus on building a community of coaches, Brandon envisions a future where collaboration, research, and data-driven insights revolutionize the coaching landscape.
Gain invaluable insights as Brandon explains how Stakeholder-Centered Coaching drives impactful results. Explore the profound connection between effective leadership and the perception of others, challenging the conventional norms of coaching. Uncover the fascinating research and methodology behind Stakeholder Center Coaching and how it transforms leaders, their organizations, and their stakeholders.
Whether you’re a coach, a leader, or someone seeking personal growth, this episode is a must-listen. Brandon’s expertise and passion shine through as he shares practical advice, personal anecdotes, and a compelling vision for the future of coaching. Prepare to be inspired, empowered, and motivated to unlock your full potential and make a lasting impact in your personal and professional life.
Don’t miss this captivating episode filled with actionable insights, thought-provoking discussions, and a deep dive into the world of coaching. Tune in now to discover the keys to unleashing your potential and embark on a transformational journey of self-discovery and growth.
[00:33:21] Leadership improving family interactions.
[00:39:19] Building a culture of failure.
[00:41:03] Stakeholder-centered coaching.
[00:44:21] Generalists vs Specialists.
[00:47:58] Community coaching.
[00:51:38] Follow-up and Leadership Efficacy.
[00:56:04] Improvements of using WHY.os.
[00:58:21] Knowing your “WHY”.
Listen to the podcast here
Challenge Accepted: Breaking Boundaries in Coaching and Leadership
In the fast-paced world of professional coaching, standing out from the crowd requires a unique blend of skills, adaptability, and a commitment to continuous improvement. In a recent episode of the Beyond Your Why podcast, we had the opportunity to delve into the journey of Brandon Mergard, a coaching industry leader who has transformed the way coaching is perceived and implemented. This blog post uncovers the key takeaways from the episode, revealing valuable insights that can empower individuals to unlock their full potential and drive success in both their personal and professional lives.
Embrace Growth Mindset: Journey towards Continuous Growth
Brandon’s story exemplifies the power of embracing a growth mindset. By constantly seeking new challenges and expanding his skill set, he elevated his career from coaching support to leading an entire certification business. This highlights the importance of ongoing learning and development to achieve personal and professional growth.
Streamlining Processes for Enhanced Efficiency
Within the coaching industry, identifying areas for improvement is crucial. Brandon’s focus on streamlining procedures and codifying processes not only improved internal efficiency but also led to the development of a systemized approach with guaranteed and measurable results. This commitment to efficiency can significantly enhance the client experience.
Stakeholder-Centered Coaching: Driving Real Results
One of the significant contributions Brandon made was introducing stakeholder-centered coaching. This approach involves involving stakeholders in the coaching process, ensuring the leaders’ growth is aligned with the perceptions of those around them. This collaborative approach leads to tangible and impactful results.
Cultivating a Culture of Learning and Experimentation
Brandon advocates for fostering a culture that embraces failure as an opportunity for growth. By encouraging experimentation and learning from mistakes, organizations and individuals can drive innovation, continuous improvement, and resilience in the face of challenges.
Authentic Leadership: Defying Expectations
Despite initial perceptions, leaders should feel empowered to lead authentically, embracing their unique qualities and approaches. Brandon’s journey highlights the importance of defying expectations and finding a leadership style that aligns with one’s true self.
Building a Community of Coaches
Collaboration and community-building are essential in the coaching industry. Brandon emphasizes the power of creating a network of coaches, fostering knowledge sharing, and mutual support. This sense of community not only benefits individual coaches but also elevates the coaching profession as a whole.
Research-Driven Approaches: Enhancing Effectiveness
Investing in research and evidence-based practices is paramount to deliver impactful coaching results. Brandon emphasizes the need for ongoing research to understand desired coaching outcomes and the active ingredients that drive success. This commitment to evidence-based coaching ensures clients receive the most effective and tailored support.
The Holistic Approach to Leadership
Leadership effectiveness extends beyond individual traits and behaviors. Brandon’s insights shed light on the importance of stakeholder perception and how it influences leadership effectiveness. A holistic approach that considers the entire ecosystem of leadership is crucial for long-term success.
Applying Personal Insights to All Aspects of Life
Discovering one’s “why” and gaining self-awareness doesn’t only benefit professional endeavors but also enriches personal relationships and overall well-being. Brandon’s personal experience highlights how understanding oneself can lead to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.
Brandon Mergard’s journey in the coaching industry offers a wealth of insights for aspiring coaches, leaders, and individuals looking to unlock their potential. By embracing growth, fostering a culture of learning, and focusing on stakeholder-centered approaches, one can achieve remarkable results. As the coaching industry continues to evolve, it is essential to prioritize research, authenticity, and collaboration to drive positive change and make a lasting impact. By applying these lessons to both personal and professional aspects of life, individuals can unlock their full potential and embark on a transformative journey of growth and success.
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If you love the show, please don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review and rating on whatever platform you are using. Thank you so much for being here. I will see you in the next episode.
About Brandon Mergard
Brandon James Mergard is an internationally acclaimed business executive and leadership coach. Currently serving as the CEO to Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching®, Mergard has spent the past decade taking bold steps to drive business performance.
Since its founding in 1987, Stakeholder Centered Coaching (SCC) has focused primarily on the US market. In the early 2010’s Mergard was brought into the then-nascent firm to establish a sustainable international business arm in 18 months. Within five years of rapid success, he grew the team of FTE’s six-fold while increasing revenue per person by 3 digits, new customers per annum from 45 to 700, and tripled his vertical’s profit margins. During the same time, his training curriculum earned the company multiple international awards for training excellence and thought leadership. He subsequently installed new teams on 5 continents to accommodate an expanding customer base in 110+ countries.
Spending so much of his career working in the field has taught him that coaching is an indispensable partnership specifically for high performers who want to fortify their competitive edge, regardless of their domain. To enact such a change, Mergard uses the Stakeholder Centered Coaching® methodology. The coaching approach leverages key stakeholders in making meaningful, sustainable changes in leadership behavior while quantifying the results. The powerful process was designed by his business partners Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, the world’s #1 leadership coach, Dr. Frank Wagner, and Christopher Coffey. The profound impact of the process is now so widespread that it has won nearly every industry award and is used by executives at 1 in 3 Fortune500 organizations. Mergard’s business acumen and domain expertise is exceeded only by his range of ambitions. He spent his early career studying guitar performance in Southern California and working as a professional musician, touring North America and Asia to perform for audiences exceeding 50k. He would later move to East Asia for a decade to study language, culture, and cooking at a half dozen universities while leading SCC’s APAC & EMEA business units. While establishing himself as the firm’s youngest executive he gained recognition as an academic researcher graduating summa cum laude with his MBA from the prestigious, triple-accredited Aston University in the UK where he would later go on to earn his Doctorate of Business Administration. For extracurriculars, Mergard is a former mixed martial artist and bodybuilder who now enjoys participating in international triathlons as well as kettlebell and steel mace competitions. The breadth of his pursuits and experiences give Mergard a uniquely competitive perspective on global business and leadership.
Beyond driving exceptional business performance, Mergard’s unique contribution to the 5,000-person team is to establish an active community for coaches to connect, collaborate, and co-create. He does this through routine member gatherings to offer a shared vision of the future and plan community initiatives which are executed under the appointed local leadership. These initiatives include upskilling the coaches through targeted skills-training, co-creating business systems for coaches, and publishing public research reports to enhance leadership intelligence without barriers to access.
Brandon James Mergard was recently recognized in the Top 200 Power List of “Biggest Voices in Leadership” by LeadersHum 2022 and is a published author with Worldwide Coaching Magazine.
“Coaching is much more than simply improving one’s work performance. It’s about intentionally designing a better human being by shaping behavior. That’s where the magic happens. Yes, teams become more cohesive and we’ll see increases in organizational performance, but we’ll also see happier, healthier individuals who have more engaged families, better relationships,
and who become more influential community leaders. It’s about making the world a better place for us all.”
The Better Way is not about perfection, but about progress. It’s the willingness to challenge the status quo and continuously improve, while knowing when to choose ‘good enough’ and move forward towards greater possibilities. In this episode, JB Owen, founder of Ignite Publishing, discusses the WHY of Better Way. As a brilliant innovator, JB relentlessly explores more efficient ways of doing things. She has a strong desire to enhance virtually everything by discovering ways to maximize its potential. However, this strength of hers also presents a challenge, as nothing is ever “right” because it can always be made “better.” That’s why today, she delves into her character traits, the obstacles she encounters, and her approach to determining what the threshold of “good enough” is for every project she undertakes. Come explore how JB is dedicated to raising the energy of the world and inspiring a billion people through her work at Ignite Publishing. Learn about the power of empowerment!
The WHY Of Better Way: Breaking Through To Your Ignite Moment With JB Owen
I am so excited to share with you our guest, Lady JB Owen. In the past few years, she has ridden her bike with her husband on a tandem bike across Canada to the tip of Alaska and she’s going to ride soon from Canada down to Cabo. The journeys that she’s taken have taught her so many life lessons that she’s going to share with you in this episode.
She’s written more than 27 books. She’s helped over 700 authors write their books and you’re going to learn so much from her about finding a better way, challenging the status quo and developing systems and processes that work to get predictable and consistent results. You’re going to love her. It’s going to be a great episode.
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In this episode, we are going to be revisiting one of our previous guests and her why is Better Way. If this is your why, then you are the ultimate innovator. You are constantly seeking better ways to do everything. You find yourself wanting to improve virtually anything to make it better. You also desire to share your improvement with the world. You constantly ask yourself questions like, “What if we did this differently? What if we did this another way? How can we make this better?” You contribute to the world with better processes and systems while operating under the motto, “I’m often pleased but never satisfied.”
You are excellent at associating, which means that you are adept at taking ideas or systems from one industry or discipline and applying them to another, always with the ultimate goal of improving something. I have a great example of that. Her name is JB Owen and she is a fearless female leader and a believer in the power of empowerment. JB’s true focus is on helping others, which is why she started Ignite Publishing, the leader in Empowerment publishing, in 2018.
She’s a world-class speaker, seventeen-time bestselling author and powerful business owner who is committed to raising the vibration of the planet and igniting a billion lives through Ignite. She is motivated by the opportunity to assist individuals in breaking through their limiting beliefs to experience their ignite moment, which changes their perspective and positively alters the course of their life.
She has published over 700 authors, turning them into international bestsellers in over 13 countries, with Ignite Publishing books reaching number 1 in 197 categories. Her gift is to ignite people to share their stories and build their brands. She also owns Ignite Moments Media, JBO Global and Lotus Liners. She combines purpose, passion and possibilities in everything she does. Exemplifying a new paradigm of what’s possible, JB motivates and inspires her clients to impact others and ignite humanity. JB, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much. I’m snickering a little bit because I got to update that bio. We’re a 26th-time international bestselling author in 222 different categories. We’re doing lots of fun things but thank you for the blessed intro and for having me back on the show because I love what you were doing.
Thank you so much. That’s why I wanted to have you back on the show. We did the first one in 2021. I know so much has happened for you and us as well. Let’s dive into that. Since we last talked, you were on a bike ride, we’ll call it. Tell us a little bit about that. Why did you do it? What was it? How long was it? How far did you go?
In 2021, I cycled from Canada to Alaska on my bicycle. Gary, in 2022, I cycled from Vancouver to Newfoundland for 79 days on my bike with my husband on our tandem for 10,000 kilometers. We’re like, “If we’re going to do it, let’s do it coast to coast. Let’s do it a better way and keep going.” Thank you very much for that. We’re thinking of doing Canada to Cabo, cycling all the way to Mexico. We can’t stop. It’s a lot of fun. Every single time we do it, how can we do it better than the last time?
Why are you doing those?
It’s fascinating. The very first time I did it was in 2020. We were in COVID and the government was saying, “You have to stay home. You can’t go and do anything.” I was like, “Are you kidding me? I’m not staying home and doing nothing. What do you mean? What are you talking about? I don’t have to stay home. I could go outside.” It was before sheltering in. Everybody was nervous and stayed home. We don’t know what’s going on. I got on my bike with my husband and said, “I need to show people what’s possible. We’re so stuck on what we can’t do. We’re getting fearful about what we’re not allowed to do. I need to show people what’s possible.”
[bctt tweet=”We’re so stuck on what we can’t do. We’re getting fearful about what’s what we’re not allowed to do. We need to show people what’s possible.” via=”no”]
The truth is I needed to show myself what was possible. I gained some weight with COVID. I was feeling the doldrums. I turned 50. I was like, “I need to do something epic and see if it’s possible.” I’d never been a cyclist or an athlete. I’d never cycled 5,000 kilometers. I wanted to see if I could do it. I wanted to show people I could. That’s how it all got started. We’ve been doing it for years in a row and 10,000 kilometers in 2022.
For those of you that are reading, JB’s why is to find a better way and share it. She does that by challenging the status quo and thinking differently. Ultimately, what she brings is the right way to get results, the processes and systems around doing it. It’s a perfect example. She found a better way to stay sane during this COVID that we had by challenging what people said you could do. You’ve figured out the right process so that you can do it every time you want to go out and write even further.
It’s very much conditioning. It’s mental and visualization. I’m getting on a bike and I’m going to ride 6,000 kilometers through the heat down the Baja. It’s a mental game. There’s so much of it. I love what you have taught me. I felt validated when I took your quiz and got a part of your ecosystem because I do love to do things a better way and create systems.
We are about to publish our twentieth compilation book. Ignite Your Faith is coming out in June 2023. When you put 35 authors into 1 book and you publish 20 books in less than 4 years, you have to create a system, improve it every time and make sure that each and every time you do it, it’s better than the next. When you and I were chatting, I had a goal to do 12 bestsellers in 12 months and I hit it, 12 bestsellers in 13 months. I love pushing myself. How far can I go? How much can we do? How do we do it better ultimately so that everyone benefits?
Have you always been that way?
I don’t know if I’ve always been this much of a challenger but I’ve always been this much of a push the enveloper. I don’t believe there’s anything in no. I’ve never believed in no. I remember a story when I was six years old. I wanted to have a Kool-Aid stand, not a lemonade stand. The lemonade was sour. Kool-Aid was way better. There’s that word, better. My dad was like, “Give your head a shake. You’ll never be able to do it.” I went and got a wagon. I got a piece of plywood out of the garage. I put a tablecloth on it. I pulled it over to the baseball diamond and I started selling Kool-Aid at six years old. When my dad said, “Give your head a shake,” do you know what I thought? “You give your head a shake. Are you kidding? This is going to be a no-brainer.”
I had the first food truck in my hometown, out of my little wagon because I was like, “It’s possible. What do you mean you can’t do it?” I always think that way. Every single time someone comes through with a problem, there’s this moment where I look up and then I’m like, “Pivot. Figure it out. What’s another thing? What’s the solution?”
I have to tell you this story. I was in Vegas and went to an event. A bunch of the ladies wanted to get their makeup done. I was like, “We should invent something called Lash and Dash where you go in, get your eyelashes on and you’re done in twenty minutes. Let’s start with a business. Every hotel should have Lash and Dash.”
The weekend went on. We were all tired. Our feet were sore. I’m like, “We should have something called Scooper. It’s like Uber inside the hotel. They come. They have a little trolley. They scoop you up and take you to your room. You don’t have to walk everywhere.” I’m like, “This dessert is so good. We should have whipped cream that is pink and purple and strawberry. Why is whipped cream white? Why isn’t it banana flavored?” All my friends are laughing. I can’t even sit still for five minutes. It’s like, “Let’s do this and that. They should do this.”
It’s always about finding something that’s better, taking something that’s already there and making it better, improving upon it.
It drives my kids crazy.
Never satisfied.
It’s true. Your gift is your curse because it is insatiable. It is always like I have some OCD sometimes because I’m like, “We should put the garbage in the garbage can a little bit better and then put the garbage can over here so it makes more sense.” There are these moments when it is a little bit annoying to the rest of the world but at the same time, it’s a gift. As an editor, a publisher and a legacy maker, I want the very best quality. I want to produce the very best product that defines this. Down to the nuance is a gift for me. It’s inspired me.
I haven’t shared this with you but my new initiative is igniting humanity. I want to go and ignite humanity. How can we make humanity better? How can we improve the way we communicate, talk and connect? It’s my big mission. Let’s ignite humanity. How do we do that? What is that going to look like?
Nothing’s going to stop you and you’ve already proven that. Whatever you set your mind to, you’re going to be able to do. Before we get off the bicycle, I wanted to hear more about what has been the biggest thing you’ve learned through those multiple bike trips.
When we have a bike trip, we always have a final destination. In the first year, we wanted to cycle to the parliament buildings. In the second year, we wanted to cycle to the top of the world highway in Alaska. I figuratively and physically wanted to be at the top of the world. In 2022, it was coast to coast. We always have an end destination. What I’ve realized is that’s just a point on the map because how I got from coast to coast, the road I thought I was going to take was never the road I took. The detours, the rain, the mountains, the broken bike, the washed-out roads, the, “Go over there, there’s a way nicer restaurant. You got to check out that place. There’s a waterfall,” it never was what we thought it was going to be.
It wasn’t the road that we were expecting but the road that we did take was so much better. The fact that I woke up every day surrendering to the fact that it was going to be a great day. In business, we show up, we’re on our computer, we’re doing things, we have our business and spreadsheets and we have all this construct. You get on a bike or decide to live your life in a way like, “What’s going to unfold today? What can I utilize today? How can I enjoy today?”
When something comes up, a challenge, a broken thing, a canceled meeting, it’s a flat tire, what is about this that is going to inspire me, empower me, teach me and show me what is great and glorious about this? We had that happen all the time. Flat tires when we were riding and bears. We were cycling and they were like, “You can’t go down that road. There’s a bear.” I’m like, “Let’s go. Let’s go fast. It’s okay. Let’s take it out.”
You have to be willing to say yes that everything else no one else wants to do. You have to be willing to trust that if there’s a detour, there’s a detour for a reason. You have to be willing to go in the other direction and be open to backtracking a little if it’s necessary. You have to be a good listener. People said to us, “There’s construction there. That road is gravel. Don’t go down that road. You’re going to love that pie at this restaurant.” Peter and I cycled 230 kilometers for a cinnamon bun. They told us it was the number one cinnamon bun in Canada and you had to go there. We’re like, “230 kilometers extra to go for that cinnamon bun.”
Better Way: You have to be willing to say yes to everything else no one else wants to do.
It was so worth it. We loved it and we made such great friends with the owners. We had the best time ever. In a long answer, be open to everything that is going to unfold between when you start and finish because it isn’t about the finish line. It’s about all the stuff that happens in between because the finish line is a blip.
Here’s my favorite story. In 2022, we were cycling to Newfoundland. Everybody wanted us to finish at Cape Spear, which is the farthest Eastern point in all of North America. We got there. Gary, I wanted to cycle along the coastline, around a cove, up a hill to the most beautiful lighthouse, walk to the edge and see the incredible Atlantic Ocean and put my hands up and that was the finish line.
I got to Cape Spear. There was a tourist booth. There were all these fences. You couldn’t get there. There were these cannons. There were a bunch of bunkers because it used to be a military strategic place. It was raining. There was a tree line. There was no cliff or ocean. I was like, “This is not the finish line.” My husband’s like, “What do you want?” I’m like, “I want this beautiful ocean. I want to come around the bay. I want to go up the hill and find this great lighthouse. I want to go to the edge of the cliff.” We sat down in the motor home because a motor home followed us so we can sleep in it.
I started googling lighthouses in Newfoundland. There are 69 of them. I found the perfect one blue, red and white stripes at the top of the hill. It was in a town called Heart’s Content. I’m like, “We’re going to Heart’s Content.” We had finished but I was like, “No, we’re not finished. Let’s keep going.” We cycled another 200 kilometers to a town called Heart’s Content. We came over the hill and down through the bay around the ocean, up the hill to this beautiful, perfect, gorgeous, wonderful lighthouse. We got off our bikes. We walked right to the edge and there was the ocean, the cliff, the birds and everything. I put my hands up and I started crying because I was so content.
Every single thing about that moment was perfect and beautiful. I knew that what I thought was my finish line wasn’t my finish line. It kept going. I was more content in Heart’s Content than I’ve ever been. It was a beautiful place to be. It proved that what we think is the finished line, we get to define the finished line, not what other people say. The finished line is the moment we feel it. It’s in us. It’s in every cell of our body. It’s not just somebody who said, “That’s the finish line.” “I’m sorry, I had to go on.”
A lot of life lessons in your journey there. It is fascinating how it parallels what we all go through in our lives. What we thought we were going to be doing isn’t what we ended up doing. It’s that quote from Steve Jobs, “You can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking back.”
It’s a beautiful experience. Sometimes, one of the great analogies about writing tandem is you got to let go of the handlebars. I ride on the back and my husband’s the captain but sometimes you got to let go of the handlebars. You got to let go of hanging on so tight to that grip and it’s got to be a certain way. You do learn a lot about life. Even though I’m a Better Wayer, there are times when I’m so grateful to let go of the grip, let go of the handlebars and trust what’s unfolding because there’s so much to learn from it.
I rode a tandem once with my wife and swore I would never do that again because I did all the work. We were in California going up the beach, the boardwalk there. She hung out on the back and I thought, “This doesn’t seem like a very good deal to me. I’m stuck.”
You had the wrong tandem. You had the casual tandem. We have to strap in our feet and both pedal. The person on the back is called the stoker, which is me. The stoker has to work a lot because they’re stoking and pushing. They’re getting you up the hill. They’re giving you that power and the force. The captain has to do a lot. He’s shifting gears, steering and taking care of everything. He’s maintaining the brakes and all of that. It is a team effort and that’s what makes it so beautiful. It’s a beautiful, intimate experience to ride in tandem. Give it another chance. Give it another try.
We’ve got eBikes, which is the other end of the spectrum from what you guys did. That’s way more fun for us, at least at this stage. It’s because we can go a lot farther on the eBikes. You’ve done three of these so far. When are you going to leave for your next one?
We always leave on July 1st and then we spend two months on the road. We always raise money for charity and do it for a good cause. We love igniting people along the way, teaching people what’s possible and igniting humanity. We’re always committed to sharing the message of igniting humanity. Here’s the thing. We have to be thinking about humanity and our future. What is the next generation going to look like? How are we all going to survive together cohesively?
I believe that it’s through storytelling. I’ve thought about policies, politics, bureaucracy, rules and all of these things. The truth is when we tell our story, when I shared with you a little bit about my journey to Heart’s Content, something was going on in your body, brain, endorphins and adrenaline. There was this wonderful cosmic thing that was happening in your brain where you were connecting with me. You were feeling me. You were layering your experience into mine. There was this deep connection that was created.
This is my Better Way to ignite humanity. We all need to tell our story. Every single one of us, man on the street to the man in the Taj Mahal, we all have got a story. Everyone’s story is incredible and equal. It doesn’t matter your skin color, gender, where you’re at or how much money you make. In that storytelling, you connect with a person. You can have two men in the same room who’ve lost a son get up and hug each other because their story is the same. It doesn’t matter that one is Russian and one is Ukrainian. The story brings us together, the heartfelt, the genuineness and the human experience.
I’m so committed to the fact that we don’t need more policies, rules on order and law. We need people to share who they are and understand who they are. I love that my whole team took your test and quiz. We use it all the time because everyone is different. Understanding their nuances is such a precious thing. To me, that’s going to ignite humanity.
Tell everybody that maybe didn’t read the last episode about your book series and book company. Do all the titles start with Ignite?
They do. I believe that we all have ignite moments. We have that moment that change us, woke us up, slapped us upside the head and told us it was time. We were never going to do that again. We were going to do that from now on. I could ask any single person I meet, “What was your ignite moment?” They all remember. They even say, “I remember the day. I remember where exactly where I was.”
It’s that moment that something happened in your life that transformed you. It was the beginning and the precipice of a new iteration of you. What you said about Steve Jobs, you have to see it in hindsight to realize that was it because many times when you’re deep in your ignite moment, it’s painful or difficult and you can’t see outside of it.
After a time, you’re able to look back on your ignite moment and realize, “That was a blessing. That was a great thing. There’s some silver lining in that. I learned a lot.” We tell those stories because that’s the hero’s story. There’s so much garbage going on in the world. We want to hear human beings succeeding and people overcoming. We want to read stories of triumph, success, admiration, connection and fortitude. I had my hard, tough, ignite moments, difficult times. I realized when I shared those stories, I was able to connect with people. More people cared about me when I was truthful and authentic than when I was trying to tough it out.
We’re almost up to 900 authors telling ignite moments and sharing their ignite stories. We have a movie coming out about ignite moments. We do a TV show about ignite moments. I love it when I’ll meet somebody and five minutes later, they’ll be like, “I have an ignite moment. I know my ignite moment.” I’ll meet some of the biggest celebrities and some of the amazing people on the planet and they all have an ignite moment.
What was the biggest ignite moment of your life so far?
I have a couple of them. Since I’ve written in twenty of our books, I have different ones. Ignite Your Parenting is a parenting one. I have an entrepreneur and one in business. I’m doing one in faith. Our faith book is coming out. I lost a team member to a tragic fire. The universe is reflecting exactly the book that I’m doing. In all honesty, one of my deepest ignite moments was I had been traveling a lot and working a lot. My kids were being raised by the nanny.
I was in China doing work about 5 times a year, 20 days at a time. I came home about eight days before Christmas. I walked into the door. No one was there to greet me. My husband and I were not getting along. I heard my daughter and my son laughing with the nanny in the kitchen. I got jealous and I decided to sneak upstairs and into the guest room because I’d been sleeping in the guest room and not with my husband for almost two years, convincing myself that Mommy was tired after thirteen hours of flying and she would see the kids in the morning.
It’s a tragic story that my 3 and 5-year-old had spent 21 days with a nanny and not me. I came home and I didn’t have the heart to see them because I felt so disconnected. That night, my three-year-old woke up in her crib and she started calling the nanny’s name. I knew that at that moment every single thing in my life had to change. If my three-year-old didn’t even call her mom in a moment of fear and worry in the middle of the night, in the dark, whatever I was doing was the wrong thing.
I woke up that morning realizing not one thing had to change in my life but everything had to change in my life. I was going to commit my life to earning back my daughter’s faith and trust in me. No matter what, she would come to me. I had to do with my son too. Every single thing in my life had to change like my health, wealth, knowingness, belief, business, company, the way I ate and talked and my marriage. Every single thing in that ignite moment told me I had to do it differently.
That’s one of the biggest because after that, four days after Christmas, my husband’s suitcases were packed at the door. I closed my business down. Sixty days later, I moved out of my house. I left my town. I left where I live for 21 years. I changed everything about me for my kids and my health and well-being. It was the hardest and most painful thing. I ended up going bankrupt but I had to do it because everything in my life was failing. I was oblivious to it. I was in the fog. That ignite moment woke me up.
When you talk about overcoming fear, I can’t imagine you didn’t have a lot of fear in that decision. How were you able to overcome that?
The truth is, interestingly enough, after that relationship, I jumped into another relationship quite quickly with a high school sweetheart that found me on Facebook. It was a very tragic yet cliché story. He ended up becoming quite abusive and I ended up leaving him within fifteen months. I took my kids out of school and I went on the road. I went into charity work for a year. I let go, gave up and walked away from everything. My kids and I started doing charity work. We built toilets in Mexico. We helped the turtles in Costa Rica. We pulled clothes out of the ocean in Greece for the Syrian refugees. We taught in the Dominican Republic how to speak English. I started over.
The powerful part of that was I had to be my hero. I had to put on my hero’s cape. I had to save myself. I had to get the strength to figure it out on my own. I had to learn the languages, do the currency, get on the bus, get on the train, get on the plane, dig the dirt, crawl with my hands and knees, help somebody else and be of service to get out of my problems and realize like, “There were people that have way bigger problems than me.”
Kids that are amputated or don’t have parents, people who have fled their country on rafts and have lost family members in oceans because they’re running from a war. Letting go of everything about myself taught me who I was and became my hero. Not relying on my husband, my business, my last name, my Mercedes or any of that taught me who I was and what I was going to be about. That brought back my courage and gave me strength.
[bctt tweet=”Letting go of everything about yourself can teach you who you are and how to become your own hero.” via=”no”]
I’m sure your path has not been even close to what you expected when you were, say, twenty years old.
Not at all. We all had that beautiful pie in the sky, beautiful idea and dream about what we’re going to do and how we’re going to do it. I had a very successful 20s and 30s, living high and doing well. I sometimes say this, “If you’re not willing to get down on your knees and praise God, he will take you to your knees in a situation where you will be asking for him.” We have to be humble and realize. We have to become students and stewards of our life. We have to be willing to accept. We have to become open. Sadly, a lot of times, especially in North America, we become very self-centric and ego-centric. We’re learning, “How do I help others? Why am I here? How can I be of service? How can I take all my gifts and lessons and help somebody else?”
Beautifully enough, ignite moments come into our lives to awaken us to that or make us wake up. Everything that happens, happens for a perfect and divine reason. I’m grateful for all of those moments, as tough as they were. I’m thankful for all of the struggles because it has made me more tenacious. Blessedly, I get to be here and share one little sliver with the idea that one person will hear something that 1%, they may move the needle in their life and do something differently. That grows into this huge trajectory of their greatness.
Better Way: Enough ignite moments come into our life to awaken us. And everything happens for a perfect and divine reason.
JB, what happened for you to decide, “I’ve got to write a book or help others write?” Was your first book mostly about you? Tell us about your first book.
When I was in my teens, I didn’t get along with my parents. When I finished college, I moved to the Dominican Republic. I wanted to get as far away from my parents as I could. This is back in 1999, way before cell phones, the internet or anything. I was living in the Dominican Republic. It was interesting because I did grow up with a little bit of a silver spoon in my mouth. I had a lot of privileges as a kid. I had everything but I didn’t feel I had the loving connections of a normal family. We had lots of stuff but there wasn’t the love that I wanted. I went to the Dominican Republic and I lived in a shack and a hut in a village with dirt floors and tin roofs.
These people had nothing but to me they had everything. They talked, connected, ate together, laughed together and cooked over the fire together. I’d watch a 40-year-old man walk to the grocery store with his mom, holding her hand. I was enamored with how connected and close they were. The things meant nothing. Suddenly I realized like, “I had everything but I had nothing. These people have nothing and have everything.”
In my journey, I started writing my mom handwritten letters to connect with her. When tourists would come to the Dominican, I would have them take them back to Canada and put them in the mail. I wrote my mom over 200 letters, sometimes 8, 10 and 12 pages at a time. The interesting thing is my mom never wrote me back but when I returned home after three years, I couldn’t wait to see my mom.
That letter-writing somehow healed us. It was cathartic. I was able to forgive her and understand her. I started to see her life as she was. What was her childhood like? How did she grow up? What did she learn? What didn’t she learn? She was doing the best job she could in parenting me. When I came home, I had a beautiful relationship with her and I wrote a book about adult daughters and mothers can heal their relationship.
It inspired me. I was very vulnerable in that book. I talked a lot about what I went through but I wanted people to understand someone else’s story. I was so mad. My mom never read me bedtime stories until I realized my mom grew up in Russia and Austria. She didn’t read English. No one read bedtime stories to her when she was in the war in a concentration camp. She didn’t learn that.
I realized, “Her story and childhood, no one ever read bedtime stories to her. I’m mad that she’s not reading Sesame Street to me. Look at her story, where she came from and what she went through.” In understanding her story, I was able to understand her more and have compassion, empathy and willingness to see her for who she was. Me telling you is the groundwork for the work that I do because I’m such a proponent of telling your story will transform your life and the lives of others.
Go through the titles with us because I know they all start with ignite and maybe you have it in front of you or have it memorized. Tell us what the titles are.
We have Ignite Creativity. We’re doing Ignite Purpose. We’re doing Ignite Courage. People have so many stories about climbing Kilimanjaro or getting off a plane with $4 in their pocket. These stories become these fundamental moments, do-or-die moments and life-defining moments. When you tell them and the person becomes the hero in the journey, two magical things happen. The writer transforms a meaning that they assign to something.
“I was a loser. I had to get off a plane. I only had $4. I was scared. I got kicked out of my house.” As time goes on, they realize, “I was courageous. I had some gusto. I had $4 in my pocket and I got off that plane. I got a job. I met people and I ended up being a multimillionaire.” They assign a new meaning to what they once thought about that. On a cellular level, that heals people and changes them. The file systems in their brain realign and suddenly, they’re very different from who they thought they were because they gave meaning to it.
That happens to the writer and the reader. They realize stories of people who have come through trials and tribulations. The reader starts to formulate their cellular synapse connection. “If he can do it, I can do it. If she can get there, I can get there.” Psychology-wise, these stories are very powerful. It’s not just I’m going to write a story and put it in a book. There’s a lot of psychology behind it. A lot of neurotransmitters are changing and shifting. A synopsis is happening. Cellular people are shifting. We are connecting on a whole other vibrational level. It’s woo-woo but it’s awesome at the same time.
Do you have an event coming up?
We’re doing an event, Igniting Humanity. I’m committed to creating something wonderful. Gary, I want to break the Guinness Book of World Records for the largest compilation book. I did some interviews in LA and I did 15 interviews in 1 day. I did about seventeen hours of interviews straight. My last interview was with a woman named Mermaid, who has broke seven Guinness Book of World Records swimming. She said, “I’m going to call the Guinness people, have them come and do a Guinness with you because I’ve never seen anyone do 15 to 17 hours of interviewing nonstop back to back.”
I didn’t eat. I didn’t go to the bathroom, nothing. I just kept doing it. I was like, “Where’s more? Who else? Is it 11:00 at night?” People are sleeping on the floor. I’m like, “Let’s keep going.” I want to break a Guinness Book of World Records. I want to do it better. I challenged myself like, “Why not?” I went to my brain doctor. I said, “How many hours can I stay awake and still be coherent? Can I do 70 hours?” He’s like, “I don’t think so.” I’m like, “60 hours.” He’s like, “Maybe 36 to 40 maximum.” I’m like, “Let’s do 45.”
When are you going to do this?
We’re going to do it in November 2023, Igniting Humanity and Share-O-Rama. It’s wonderful. I love the idea of why not. On our first cycle ride, we got on the bike and cycled away from the house. We’re a block and a half away from the house. My husband said to me, because we hadn’t done it before, “Are you worried that we’re going to fail?” We told everyone on social media. We had blocked up the house. The kids were in the motor home. We were on our way. I said, “Honey, we’re a block away from the house. We’ve already succeeded. Anything we do past this next block is a success.”
It doesn’t matter. There’s no such thing as failure. If I do 15 hours of interviews, 14 hours or 13 hours, it’s never a failure. I did it. I showed up. I tried. I threw my hat in. I made an effort and I got to learn. “We only got two blocks and something happened. What do we get to do next time to get three blocks?” There’s no failure and other option. We succeed and keep doing it.
Do you reach a point in your journey where you are ready to stop or does it never feel that way? You’ve got 4,000 kilometers to go. When you’re 200 kilometers in, you think, “We got 3,800 kilometers to go. I don’t know if I really want to do this.”
I’ll tell you two things. One time we were cycling, our first trip was 5,000 kilometers. We were 192 kilometers away from the finish line. It wasn’t a tough day. It was a little bit of rain. It was a flat road. Everything was good. I’ve been cycling for about an hour with my husband. We hadn’t been talking. Suddenly, I had this flash come over. “I’m done. I’m good. I’m saturated. I’m content and happy. I’m blessed. I’m amazing. This is awesome. I could stop, rack the bike and go home.” I told my husband. I’m like, “Pull over.” He’s like, “What’s wrong?” I’m like, “I feel completely done.”
He’s like, “What do you mean?” I said, “I don’t have to get to the finish line. I don’t even have to get to 5,000 kilometers because at this exact moment right here, I feel so blessed, thankful, accomplished, fantastic and full of this experience that the finish line is irrelevant,” because it’s about the feelings. Every single feeling that I was wanting at the finish line came before the finish line was so profound to me.
How many times do we see people who win Oscars or Olympic gold medals and then commit suicide a week later or something is devastating for them or they’re never happy? It’s because it’s not about the finish line. It’s about feelings. You always want to aim and go after the feelings. You want the cauldron of feelings to stir into you. That’s what you want. It’s not the finish line. That is one time where I felt like, “I’m good. I’m great. We could go home,” but I didn’t. I kept going but I stopped and felt all of that. I was like, “I don’t have to finish. Everything from this moment on is gravy because I feel so content and happy.
Better Way: It’s not about the finish line, it’s about the feelings. Aim for the feelings. Go after the feelings. You want the cauldron of feelings to stir into you.
Let me ask you something about that. What came up for me when you said that was, “I thought this was a team.” What if your husband doesn’t feel that way? You feel that way but so what? What about how he feels?
He’s such a brilliant, amazing man. He also said to me it was not about the finish line. He said to me the very first year we cycled, “The most important thing is that I get you there. That’s my goal. I do whatever I have to. I take care of the bike. I tune the bike. I do the maps, the compass and all of that.” He never made it to the finish line or the 5,000. I did. I made it about the number, the finish line and getting to apartment buildings.
He made it about being my wingman and everything that he could do in his power to make sure that I got to wherever it is I wanted to get to. If I was ready to quit, he’s like, “This is where you want to quit?” I was like, “No, but I want to tell you I feel this way.” For a moment, I’m feeling it but I’m never going to quit. The truth is he had a different agenda because his why is not Better Way. You might know what Peter’s is. I don’t remember what it is. His was making sure that he was the best he could be for me and the project.
His is to contribute to a greater cause, add value and have an impact on the lives of others. For him, whatever you wanted, what made sense. “If that’s what you want to do, that’s what we do.”
He’s tried and true to this moment. It’s so beautiful. Better Way people need those people because I can’t do what I do without him. I soar so high but he’s the wind beneath my wings. It’s such a blessing to have a person like that. We love that we know that about each other. We love that that’s okay because I’m not always pushing him. I’m not always like, “Why aren’t you like me? Why aren’t you doing it my way?” He does it differently and thank God because we need each other. That’s what makes us such a good team.
Is it hard for you to not push him to be like you?
I have to say no because I want to push myself. I wake up every day like, “How can I do it?” We were on the bike one time in the mountains and it was sleet, fog and rain. It was the worst condition ever. It was dangerous. We couldn’t even see 10 feet in front of us. We were on this windy road that had little tiny 2-foot guardrails. The semis were going by us hitting us with rain at 20-pound range, making us a jerk over on the side of the road. The fog was so bad. Our follow vehicle came back to get us because they were so worried about us. They pulled over on the side of the road like, “Get in.” They had to continue because they were blocking traffic.
I was cycling and snot was pouring off my nose. The water is dripping off my forehead and chin. The water is running down. My hands are on the steering wheel like, “I’m not giving up.” My husband’s like, “What is wrong with you? This is dangerous. This is so bad and scary. This is unnecessary. Whom are you trying to prove something to?” I’m like, “I’m not trying to prove it to anyone. I’m trying to tell myself I can do it and that it’s possible.”
At that very moment, I started to cry and I thought, “Who am I trying to prove it to? How long do I have to keep proving it to myself?” It was fascinating in that moment. I thought to myself, “JB, you’ve been proving it long enough. Don’t do it to prove it. Do it to enjoy and love it. Do it to have fun with it. Do it to catapult you to the next thing.” We cycled over that mountain pass and down the hill. The first town we came to was called Marathon, Ontario. I said, “God, I’ve done my marathon. From this moment on, I promise that everything I do will be for joy, fun and the goodness of others. I don’t need to prove anything anymore.”
[bctt tweet=”Don’t do it to prove it. Do it to enjoy it, do it to love it, do it to have fun with it, do it to catapult you to the next thing.” via=”no”]
How do you think you would be different if you hadn’t done those bike journeys or trips?
They’ve given me a lot of strength and self-confidence. They’ve taught me what’s important to me. I love getting on the bike. I love disappearing and being dialed out. I love not having the phone, the computer and the people. I love not having to have the show, the perfect voice and the getting on stage. I love not having to perform. I love pushing my body and being connected to nature. That has taught me a great gift. I love being in the flow and letting go. I think for Better Way people, because we’re constantly on, we’re pushing and poking that needle all the time that we need to have that ability to surrender, allow, let go and know that it’s all okay.
I’ve been so blessed. If you looked over my life, you would be shocked. I worked in the film business for fifteen years with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dwayne Johnson and all the A-list celebrities. I worked on a cruise ship. I have been around the world. I have done multiple things. I’ve been published. I’ve been on stage. I worked with some of the best people in the business. I’ve had such a glorious gifted life but it’s because I believe it’s possible. It’s all had layers of pain, suffering, ups and downs and hardships.
The truth is that happens to all of us. Every one of us is going to get a curve ball and life would hit us in hard ways. What I love to believe is that it’s all magically perfectly divine, thank you for this moment. “What am I going to do now? I can get kicked down but what am I going to do? Stay down or get up?” That’s the difference. I can stay down or get up. It’s a choice and I feel like getting up.
You remind me of another Better Way, Chriss Smith, who is s a Navy SEAL. I had him on the show. He rode a boat across the Atlantic. I asked him, “What do you know about rowing boats?” He said, “Not a thing.” I said, “Why would you agree to row a boat across the Atlantic? That’s not like a little weekend warrior thing. That’s major.” He said, “Just to see if I could and push myself. I talk all the time about being who you’re supposed to be, challenging yourself, pushing your limits and I hadn’t been doing it.” He’s been in all kinds of adventure races. He’s in the world’s toughest race. He said, “I hadn’t been living that too long and it was my time to do it again.” It’s very similar. It’s another Better Way person that was looking for a better way to experience more in life and push himself to see what’s possible.
My husband asked me if I wanted to do the 888. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of it. 8 marathons in 8 days in 8 countries. He’s like, “Do you want to do the 888? It’s 8 countries, 8 marathons, 8 days.” I was like, “Sure, as long as I don’t have to finish, you don’t run the race compared to me and I can do it however I want to do it. If I want to run 8 marathons in 8 days in 8 countries, if I run it in 7 hours and 28 minutes, that’s how long it’s going to take me. If I run it and I don’t finish, that’s okay with me. As long as I don’t have to race, compete and do it better than anyone else and I’m going to do it in my best way, let’s try it. What is that going to look like? What do I have to do?”
Did you sign up for it?
Yeah. It’s in January 2024.
Have you ever run a marathon?
No. I’ve cycled across Canada.
I’m sure you can do it. JB, if there are people that want to connect with you, want to learn more about Ignite or want to be in one of your books, what’s the best way for them to connect with you?
Go to IgniteYou.life. That’s our website. You can go to Amazon and google any Ignite book and you’ll find it. You can go to Ignite Humanity on Google. You’ll find us. I love talking to people and hearing people’s stories. I talked to an author. She’s in South Africa. Her husband was stung by three bees. He went into a coma. He was in a coma for three years. He never woke up. He passed away.
At the same time, her daughter’s hand was amputated in a car accident. This woman is like, “What a story.” Do you know what she said? “I can’t be mad at those bees. That’s not their fault.” It’s so beautiful, yummy and delicious. Every story is fantastic. Reach out to me. I make myself accessible. You can find me on Facebook or Instagram. I love it when people go to my website, reach out to me and book a call with me.
I want to hear your story. I never let anyone not get to the finish line. We have a policy in our business. Everybody makes it to the finish line. Nobody gets left behind. Every single author has such a transformational experience when they tell their story. I also help people do their solo books. I don’t know if I told you but I’m building schools in third-world countries. We are igniting literacy around the globe. We take plastic out of landfills and turn them into blocks that we build into schools.
I’m very committed to igniting literacy and humanity through schools. You can find out about us doing that. We have a great community of people who want to ignite the world and want to do it one story at a time. I welcome anyone who wants to uplift themselves, take their story and use it as a catalyst for good. There’s something magical in the body that happens when you take your story and tough moment and gift it to the world with the hope that it’ll help somebody else. It’s so healing and profound. We all should be doing it.
Here’s the last question for you, JB. What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever gotten or the best piece of advice you’ve ever given?
Funnily enough, when I was twelve, my Uncle Tony, let me give him credit, said to me, “Go out, kid and live your life because if you stay at home, God will make the roof fall on your head.” I was like, “That’s such good advice.” If you’re fearful, you’re staying at home and sitting on the couch and you don’t want to go out, God’s going to make the roof fall on your head. You might as well go out and live your life. At twelve years old, I was like, “I’m living my life.” I was in Hong Kong when I was fifteen, traveling. That would be the best advice I had felt that I ever got. It freed me to not be afraid, worried or shy. It’s worked for me ever since.
The best advice I’ve ever given is this. Know thyself. Learn about yourself. Uncover yourself. Discover yourself. Figure out who you are. What do you love? What do you like? What are you good at? What are you talented at? What do you crave? What do you desire? What do you want? Be on the journey of figuring out yourself. Who cares about somebody else? Let them do their thing. You do your thing. Do you like this? Do you like that? Are you good at this? Are you good at that?
Try new things. Discover new things. Be willing to go outside your comfort zone. When you know yourself, it’s the best, most glorious relationship you could ever have. That gives you the power, tenacity and strength to be yourself. Being anything else other than yourself is exhausting. It’s so much better to be myself and try to be something I’m not. That is too much work. I’m just going to be me. It’s so much easier,
JB, thank you so much for being here. I know you’re super busy but it’s great to connect with you again and hear where you’ve been and what’s going on in your life because it’s a fascinating story. Thanks for being here.
Thank you so much. I want to say appreciation to you. I’m very grateful for the work you’re doing. I love your program. It’s the cat’s meow and you’re doing a great job. Thanks for having me.
Thank you.
—
Thank you so much for reading. If you have not yet discovered your why, please go to WhyInstitute.com. You can use the code PODCAST50 and discover your why or your WHY.os at half price. If you love the show, please don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review and rating on whatever platform you are using. Thank you so much for being here. I will see you in the next episode.
JB Owen is a fearless female leader and a believer in the power of empowerment. JB’s true focus is on helping others, which is why she started Ignite Publishing, the leader in empowerment publishing, in 2018. She is a world-class speaker, 17-time bestselling author, and powerful business owner who is committed to raising the vibration of the planet and igniting a billion lives through Ignite. She is motivated by the opportunity to assist individuals in breaking through their limiting beliefs to experience their own ‘ignite moment’ which changes their perspective and positively alters the course of their life.
She has published over 700 authors, turning them into international best-sellers in over 13 countries, with Ignite Publishing’s books reaching #1 in 197 categories. Her gift is to Ignite people to share their story and build their brand. She also owns Ignite Moments Media, JBO Global, and Lotus Liners. She combines purpose, passion, and possibilities in everything she does. Exemplifying a new paradigm of what’s possible, JB motivates and inspires her clients to impact others and IGNITE humanity.
00:00:09 Persuasion is about pre-suasion.
00:08:35 Use an effective opener for persuasion.
00:17:02 Small changes can have big impacts.
00:26:00 Small bigs make a difference.
00:34:08 Use ethical persuasion techniques effectively.
00:42:24 Think well of others.
Listen to the podcast here
Dr. Robert Cialdini, a renowned expert in the field of influence and persuasion, is the guest in this episode. With extensive research and expertise, Dr. Cialdini has authored books and developed principles that provide valuable insights into understanding human behavior and how to ethically influence others.
Three major things you will learn by listening to this episode:
Differentiating influence from persuasion: Understand the psychological aspects of influence and how to create a favorable state of mind in your audience before delivering your message.
The power of small actions and cues: Discover how something as simple as a smile or the shape of a smile can significantly impact people’s decisions and preferences.
The importance of ethical application: Learn how to apply the principles of influence in an ethical manner to build long-term trust and loyalty.
To gain valuable knowledge from Dr. Cialdini and delve into the art of influence, listen to this episode now!
Unleashing the Power of Ethical Influence: Insights from Dr. Robert Cialdini
Discover the art of ethical influence and the fascinating world of human behavior in this captivating podcast episode featuring Dr. Robert Cialdini. As a distinguished expert in influence and persuasion, Dr. Cialdini shares his extensive knowledge, providing invaluable insights to help you master the art of persuasion. Whether you’re a business professional, marketer, or simply looking to enhance your communication skills, this episode is a game-changer.
Unveiling the Guest
Dr. Robert Cialdini, the renowned authority on influence, brings his unrivaled expertise to the forefront of this episode. With a plethora of groundbreaking research and best-selling books to his name, Dr. Cialdini is a trusted source for understanding the psychological factors that shape decision-making. His contributions have made a significant impact on professionals across diverse industries.
Unleashing the Secrets to Ethical Influence
Explore the essential elements that differentiate influence from persuasion, and how they play a vital role in achieving successful outcomes. Dr. Cialdini delves deep into the psychology behind effective messaging, teaching you how to prepare your audience to be more receptive to your requests. Gain a thorough understanding of the principles that underpin persuasive communication, enabling you to ethically influence others.
Harnessing the Power of Subtle Cues
Discover the surprising impact of small actions and non-verbal cues on decision-making processes. Dr. Cialdini shares intriguing studies that highlight the significance of a smile and its shape in shaping preferences and choices. Uncover the potential of leveraging these subtle cues to create lasting impressions and drive desired outcomes.
Ethical Application for Long-Term Success
Ethics and integrity form the foundation of ethical influence. Dr. Cialdini emphasizes the importance of maintaining trust and authenticity when applying persuasive techniques. By aligning ethical practices with the principles of influence, you can build long-term relationships, foster loyalty, and achieve sustainable success in your personal and professional endeavors.
Why You Should Tune In
Don’t miss this exceptional opportunity to gain invaluable insights from Dr. Cialdini, a true authority in the realm of influence. Unlock the secrets to mastering ethical persuasion, establish stronger connections, and drive favorable outcomes. Whether you’re a seasoned professional or a passionate learner, this episode will equip you with actionable strategies to make a lasting impact.
Don’t wait any longer! Immerse yourself in the realm of ethical influence by listening to this transformative episode now.
About Dr. Robert Cialdini
Robert Cialdini, a thought leader in the fields of influence and persuasion, has spent his career publishing scientific research on what causes people to say “Yes” to requests. The results of his research, his ensuing articles, and his New York Times bestselling books have led to his election to the National Academy of Sciences and the American Academy of Arts and Science.
His 7 Principles of Persuasion have become a cornerstone for any organization serious about increasing its influence
significantly, while doing so ethically.
As a keynote speaker, Dr. Cialdini is renowned for his ability
to translate the science of influence through valuable and
indelible stories that lend themselves to long-term business
applications.
His books, including his New York Times Bestselling Influence and Pre-Suasion, have sold more than seven-million copies in 44 languages. As a result, he is frequently regarded as
“The Godfather of Influence”.
[00:00:13] The Seven Principles of Influence.
[00:06:01] Next in line effect.
[00:08:50] Power of Persuasion.
[00:13:13] Communication strategies for groups.
[00:21:17] The power of “because”.
[00:26:33] The definition of influence.
[00:28:39] Rule for reciprocity.
[00:33:55] Give something to clients first.
[00:39:29] Principles of Persuasion.
[00:43:28] Influence and Consistency.
[00:49:18] Social Proof and Usability.
Listen to the podcast here
Dr. Robert Cialdini is a renowned expert on influence and persuasion. With his extensive research and expertise, he has become a leading authority in understanding the psychology behind human behavior and decision-making. His work has helped businesses and individuals unlock the power of persuasion to achieve greater success.
Tune in and learn from the master himself!
The seven universal principles of influence: Discover the key principles that significantly increase the likelihood of getting a positive response in any persuasive message, such as reciprocation, liking, authority, social proof, scarcity, commitment consistency, and unity.
The power of giving first: Learn how providing value, benefits, and positive attitude to others can create a sense of reciprocity and increase the chances of them saying yes to your requests.
Strategies for effective persuasion: Gain insights into practical techniques like finding genuine similarities, giving compliments, leveraging authority and social proof, highlighting scarcity, and promoting commitment and consistency to enhance your persuasive messaging.
Listen to this episode to delve deeper into the fascinating world of influence and persuasion, and learn how to apply these principles to improve your copywriting, SEO, and marketing strategies. Gain valuable insights from Dr. Robert Cialdini, an expert in the field, and unlock the potential to achieve better results in your business endeavors.
Unleashing the Power of Persuasion: Insights from Dr. Robert Cialdini
In the world of influence and persuasion, few names carry as much weight as Dr. Robert Cialdini. As a renowned expert in the field, Dr. Cialdini has dedicated his career to unraveling the secrets behind human behavior and decision-making. In a recent episode of the Beyond Your WHY Podcast, hosted by Dr. Gary Sanchez, Dr. Cialdini shared valuable insights into the art of persuasion and the seven universal principles of influence. Join us as we delve into the highlights of this episode, exploring the importance of Dr. Cialdini’s work and discovering how you can leverage his expertise to enhance your copywriting and SEO strategies.
Understanding the Seven Universal Principles of Influence
Dr. Cialdini’s extensive research has identified seven universal principles of influence: reciprocation, liking, authority, social proof, scarcity, commitment consistency, and unity. By grasping these principles and integrating them into your messaging, you can significantly increase the likelihood of eliciting a positive response from your target audience.
The Power of Reciprocity: Giving First
One of the major takeaways from the episode is the importance of giving value, benefits, and positive attitude before making a request. Dr. Cialdini emphasizes that by going above and beyond for your audience or customers, you create a sense of reciprocity, leading them to feel obligated to reciprocate your actions.
Strategies for Effective Persuasion
Dr. Cialdini provides actionable strategies for effective persuasion. He highlights the significance of finding genuine similarities and offering genuine compliments to build rapport with your audience. Leveraging authority and social proof can help reduce uncertainty, as people tend to follow the recommendations of experts and the actions of their peers. Additionally, highlighting scarcity and promoting commitment consistency can further enhance the persuasive impact of your message.
The Importance of Dr. Robert Cialdini’s Work
Dr. Cialdini’s research and expertise in influence and persuasion have revolutionized our understanding of human behavior. His work has not only influenced the field of psychology but has also made a significant impact on marketing, sales, and business strategies worldwide. Through his groundbreaking book “Influence,” Dr. Cialdini has become a trusted authority, guiding businesses and individuals toward more effective communication and persuasion techniques.
The Beyond Your WHY Podcast episode featuring Dr. Robert Cialdini offers invaluable insights into the power of persuasion. By implementing the seven universal principles of influence and incorporating the strategies shared by Dr. Cialdini, you can enhance your ability to engage and persuade your target audience effectively. Don’t miss out on this incredible opportunity to learn from one of the foremost authorities on influence and persuasion. Unlock the secrets of persuasion, elevate your copywriting and SEO efforts, and start achieving remarkable results in your communications. Tune in to the episode today and unleash the power of persuasion in your endeavors.
About Dr. Robert Cialdini
Robert Cialdini, a thought leader in the fields of influence and persuasion, has spent his career publishing scientific research on what causes people to say “Yes” to requests. The results of his research, his ensuing articles, and his New York Times bestselling books have led to his election to the National Academy of Sciences and the American Academy of Arts and Science.
His 7 Principles of Persuasion have become a cornerstone for any organization serious about increasing its influence
significantly, while doing so ethically.
As a keynote speaker, Dr. Cialdini is renowned for his ability
to translate the science of influence through valuable and
indelible stories that lend themselves to long-term business
applications.
His books, including his New York Times Bestselling Influence and Pre-Suasion, have sold more than seven-million copies in 44 languages. As a result, he is frequently regarded as
“The Godfather of Influence”.
The main objective of the prison system is to rehabilitate criminals and integrate them into society. But seeing its current state, mired in cruelty and violence, it may not be serving its purpose well. In this episode, Dr. Gary Sanchez sits down with motivational speaker Andre Norman who shares his inspiring journey from incarceration, getting into Harvard, and working with top leaders at the White House. He talks about seeking better ways to run the US prison system, where he spent years fighting in gang wars and living in a constant threat of violence. Andre opens up about his two years in solitary confinement, detailing how this horrible experience opened his eyes to the contribution he can make in transforming the very system he went through.
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Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
Rehabilitating The Prison System With Andre Norman
In this episode, you’re going to meet Andre Norman. He went from gang member to leader of the gangs in the prison systems to going to two years of solitary confinement where he found himself, his formula, and his plan. He ended up getting out, going to Harvard, and working with leaders at The White House and many other organizations. You’re going to find this episode fascinating. I can’twait to share it with you.
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We’re going to be talking about the WHY of Better Way, to find a better way and share it. If this is your why, then you are the ultimate innovator and you are constantly seeking better ways to do everything. You find yourself wanting to improve virtually anything by finding a way to make it better. You also desire to share your improvements with the world. You constantly ask yourself questions like, “What if we tried this differently? What if we did this another way? How can we make this better?”
You contribute to the world with better processes and systems while operating under the motto, “I’m often pleased, but never satisfied.” You are excellent at associating, which means that you are adept at taking ideas or systems from one industry or discipline and applying them to another always with the ultimate goal of improving something.
In this episode, I have a fascinating guest for you. His name is Andre Norman. He is the number one prison success story in the world. Growing up in Boston, Andre struggled with poverty and illiteracy. After quitting on his dream of being a trumpet player, he turned to the streets eventually finding himself before a judge where he was sentenced to over 100 years in prison. In the first six years, he immersed himself in prison culture, gaining status and recognition within the system. This led to him being placed in solitary confinement for two years.
While in solitary confinement, Andre had an epiphany and realized he had become the king of nowhere. After assessing his current life and the life he wanted to create, with a 1% chance of succeeding, he formulated a plan to go to Harvard and become successful. Over the next eight years, Andre would work twenty hours a day. He taught himself to read. He taught himself the law. He went to anger management and personal development groups.
He was awarded parole and released having served fourteen years. Ninety minutes after obtaining his freedom, Andre made his first speech to a room of young Black men who were in juvenile detention, which is where he once sat. He taught them the three basic principles. The importance of accepting accountability and embracing mentorship, how to create a plan and live with integrity, and how to become a leader and never quit.
For many years, he’s been teaching these principles around the world. Having made stops in over 30 countries and worked with top agencies such as YPO, EO, Genius Network, The White House, Ferguson, Harvard, and London Business School all the while still working on his passion for helping people turn their lives around. He runs the Academy of Hope, a violence reduction prison-based program. Having gone from being hopeless in prison to now running prisons is why Andre Norman is the number one prison success story in the world.
You’ve got to send me that intro. I need a copy of that.
I had a different intro for you, and I decided not to use it because I think this tells a better story. The one I had didn’t go into where you came from. It’s just what you’re doing now, which I didn’t think did you justice.
I appreciate you. Email me a copy. I liked it.
Andre, were you born in Boston?
I grew up in Boston, Massachusetts at Boston City Hospital.
Tell us a little bit about your childhood. What was that like for you? What were you like in high school? Give us a little background on you.
I was born in Boston in 1967. It was a different time and era. All the people weren’t getting along as they do or are supposed to nowadays. It was like segregated communities in the sense of the White folks lived over there, the Black folks lived over there, and the Spanish people lived down there. We never saw the Asian folks. They were only downtown or someplace. You stayed in your bubble. Everybody had a bubble and you lived in it. When you came out of your bubble, people would tell you to get back into your bubble.
Going to school, you think everything is normal. You’re a kid. You don’t know the larger world is going through stuff. I didn’t understand the Vietnam War was going on while I was 2 years old or 3 years old. I didn’t understand a lot of things was going on. Watergate, I knew nothing about it. I never heard about it until I was an adult. The world is moving and I’m just a little kid. My parents and my oldest siblings are growing up understanding what’s going on. I have no clue.
I finally get to sixth grade. I have a little bit more ability. I can move around now. It was like, “Okay, cool.” That’s when I started realizing that I was living in a bubble and that my bubble consisted of the people who lived next door to me or down the street from me. I wasn’t allowed or expected to go beyond my bubble. I started traveling. I love traveling. As a kid in the fifth grade, I hated being boxed into the hood as we call it. I’d go down to the bottom of the hill and get on the bus, and I’d ride the bus from end to end.
After I rode the bus to every stop, there was a trolley. I started riding the trolley end to end at every stop. After I rode the trolley, I jumped on the train. I started riding the train to every stop on the first line. There are four train lines in Boston. I rode them all. I’ve been to every stop on every train line in the City of Boston that it has.
I started looking at the commuter rails and the buses that go to the suburbs. I jump on buses and I go to different communities. I jump off and go explore. People thought I was weird. This was way before GPS. That’s what you did. That was my escape from the city. I’d get on a bus and go somewhere. I get on the train or the trolley and go somewhere. I love this seeing stuff.
When I get to high school, it’s not going well. I’m not athletic or academic. I’m not super cool. I’m in where I’m in and then I fall off. As you see, my trumpet is on the wall behind me. Some friends of mine talked me out of playing the trumpet. They said it’s not cool and you can’t not have friends, so I gave up my trumpet. When I gave up my trumpet, I fell in with all the rest of the people.
The people who are going away that I didn’t want to go, but I ended up going in the street. If you’re not in school, you’re not doing anything productive, you’re going to be in the street. There’s not a lot to that. My street term didn’t last long. As everybody else, you make your little run and you get a car or whatever you get and then you end up in jail.
[bctt tweet=”If you are not doing anything productive, you will end up in the streets.” username=”whyinstitute”]
As a teenager, the one glamour thing that come up in my youth was in eleventh grade. I had failed 9th grade, 10th grade, and 11th grade in almost every class. I went to class late one day, my teacher wouldn’t let me in. I ended up in the auditorium sitting in the back of a presentation around exchange students. I’m sitting in the back. I’m jaded by this point in my life. I’m like, “Why are you talking about kids going to foreign countries? We can’t go anyplace. We’re stuck right here.” I had forgotten that I love to travel. Instead of saying, “This is for me, I just downed it because I was a hater at that time.” The guy called me to the front. He gave me the forms. He said, “Don’t say no to them. Fill out the forms. Make them say no, then you have an argument.”
Long story short, I filled out the forms. I applied and I got the first scholarship of all the kids in the Boston Public Schools because President Reagan wanted Black kids to go on his trips so he eliminated grades. You could not look at grades. You only had to talk to the person in front of you based on potential. In 1984, it was deemed I had the most potential of any kid in the Boston Public Schools system.
I win this scholarship and then my principal finds out. He calls me and the counselor to the office. He’s cussing us both out. Never could I represent their school. I was the worst kid they’d ever seen. He was going on and on. Long story short, when he was done, the man raised his hand. He said, “Three things. One, Andre is going on this trip. Two, it’s not your money, and three, it’s not your decision. Thank you for your time,” and we walked out. When we got in the hallway, he gave me that look like, “I told you. Don’t ever say no to them.”
In the summer of 1984, I went to London, Paris, Belgium, and Amsterdam on an exchange student scholarship. It was my thing. I’m traveling. I’m like, “I’m there,” and it was phenomenal. If I’d pick a moment, the seed that was planted that changed my life was I’m in a local pub. I’m seventeen. I used to play video games and you used to put your name up on the high score so I put Dre. When you go on it, it’s all Dre. I’m a video game kid.
In ‘84, the Olympics is going on in LA. Everybody in London, Paris, Belgium, and Amsterdam all called me the American. Nobody called me the Black kid, “He’s an American.” I had never in my life been called an American or put into the category of American. It was always like, “The Black kids and them or the White kids.”
What happened is after hearing it so much and I guess at the same time, the Olympics are going on so everybody’s up in arms about their country, I went to the pub and I switched everything from Dre to USA. I started putting the USA up there. I never saw myself as anything but the Black kid from the hood but all those people inundated me with being an American and I embraced it. Years later, that trip that summer helps me see and navigate my life now.
Listening to that, it doesn’t sound like you were a bad kid.
I was an extremely bad kid.
It doesn’t sound like it. From what I’m hearing, it doesn’t sound like you were a troublemaker. It sounds like you were a kid trying to find his way and got an opportunity. What did your friends think at that moment about you getting awarded this scholarship to go overseas?
By the time I got that scholarship, it was the end of my junior year going to my senior year. Half of my friends are already in juvie waiting for me to show up. When I say not a bad kid, not a good kid, there’s no bad or good. It’s who you are around. If you show me the atmosphere that somebody grows up in, I’ll show you what you’re going to get out of that. I’ve seen George W. Bush was president. Do you know what made him be president or prompted him? George Herbert Bush prompted him to be president. We can go back to him saying John Quincy Adams and his son.
You become, to a certain extent, not a guarantee of what’s around you, but George Herbert Bush has one son who was a governor and became president. If your father is a politician, you become a politician. All the Kennedy boys became politicians. You follow in the footsteps. Unless you’re an athlete, you can’t pass that on.
What were your parents like then?
My mom and dad separated when I was in the first grade. I was on my own when it comes to “your dad’s” part. My mom had six kids and is a single mom. She’s trying to raise six of us, feed us, and clothe us. She wouldn’t go on welfare so she’s working on too many jobs account. She was trying to make it work. She was overwhelmed with six kids and refused to sit at home and collect a check every two weeks. My mom went to work every day.
The backend of that is the kids are home by themselves. Since I and my brother were the little ones or the younger two, we needed guidance the most when it wasn’t there. My oldest siblings were on with their lives, whatever degree that looked like. I call it neglect but not willful neglect. It was the byproduct of how we were living. She couldn’t be at work for ten hours and be at home for ten hours. Something had to give.
What was the turning point that got you going in the wrong direction?
The turning point that got me going in the wrong direction was in the sixth grade when the kids told me I was poor. They made fun of me for being a free lunch kid and wearing dirty clothes. I didn’t have anybody to go to. At that moment, my friend came to me and said, “Dre, we can go sell weed in the park after school and make money. We can buy the stuff that we don’t have.”
Had I had a dad in my life, a mentor, or a coach who would have said, “No, Dre, you’re not doing that.” I had no one to turn to and say, “This is my option. Do you have a better option?” My sixth-grade friend who’s as strung out and pained as I am in trying to find a way, his advice seemed like great advice to me. Again, I didn’t have a brother 4 or 5 years older. My older brother was one year older than me. There’s no one I can go to and say, “What do you think about this?”
I went with my logic as an eleven-year-old. At eleven-year-old, if I can make these people stop yelling at me, it sounds like a good thing. I went with it. That was the turning point where someone would’ve said, “Dre, come on. You’re not going to go do this.” I would have not done it but there was nobody there to tell me no. If you’re running through life with no one there to tell you no, that’s a problem because you’re an accident waiting to happen.
[bctt tweet=”If you are running through life with no one to tell you no, you are just waiting for an accident to happen.” username=”whyinstitute”]
There is poverty, rich, wealthy, CEO, or the mayor’s clerk. If you’re governing your life right now and there’s nobody in your life that can tell you no when a bad decision or a bad move comes up or is inappropriate, you don’t have anyone to self-check you, you’re just waiting for the next bad decision to come.
You in sixth grade started selling weed. What happened on that path? Did you get into the juvie system finally?
In sixth grade, I started selling weed. What we’re used to doing to be clear was the older kids would sell weed. My job was to run back and forth to the stash house and bring it to them. I got $30 to $35 a day, which doesn’t sound like a lot of money, except if you’re this dirt-poor with nothing. If you’re a free lunch kid, $35 a day is a lot of money. Back then, a pair of sneakers cost $20, not $200. I got a saying. If you get on the wrong street and walk, at some point, you’re going to hit the end. I got on the street. I enter the street as a drug dealer. I then went to a gun carrier and I went to somebody in fights. It just progressed all the way up.
What was it that finally got you in front of the judge?
What finally got me in front of the judge was a bunch of arm robberies. I used to sell drugs and then I started robbing people who sold drugs because it was so much easy and they had so much money. I went to prison for robbing drug dealers.
They had the cash and you took it. How old were you then?
I was eighteen.
You got sentenced to 100 years in prison.
7 to 10 years, 9 to 10, 9 to 10, 10, 10, 15 to 20, 15 to 20, 3 to 5, 3 to 5, and 5. It’s 105 years. It’s what they gave. I had it 95, and I picked up 2 attempted murder charges inside and got 10 more, which pushed it to 105.
What was it like hearing that when you got sentenced to that amount of time in prison?
By then, you’re in a rhythm. It’s what’s expected. If you’re an honor roll student and in the second semester, they tell you you’ve got an A, you’re like, “Okay, cool.” If you’re flunking out and they tell you you’ve got an F, “Okay, cool.” This is where your path is going so anything that happens on that path isn’t spectacular. Some things are expected from you depending on what you’re doing.
Based on how I was living, nobody was shocked. They said, “Dre is in court again. Dre is going to prison.” “We knew that.” When I got to the prison, all my friends said, “What took you so long? We’ve been waiting for you. We knew you were coming.” It’s like when you get someplace and you’re like, “This would be perfect for Johnny. Where’s he at?” and then Johnny shows up how. We knew he was going to come, “This is your thing.”
My lifestyle was so clear that you knew where I was going to end up. If I didn’t go to prison, it would have been amazing. Also, it was amazing that I went. If LeBron James didn’t become the all-time greatest NBA player next to Michael Jordan, they’d be like, “What happened? He had everything going for him. It was all lined up. He was expected to be there.” I had everything lined up for me to go to prison so I went.
Take us through what it’s like walking from outside of prison into prison.
It was scary. If I had to pick one word, going to State or Federal prison is scary. The first day I went to the county jail, I was scared to death. I fight. I’m tough, but this is a place I don’t know. These are people I don’t know, so I’m scared. You fight through your fears and you win some false hope and you stop being scared, which was the worst thing that happened to me. I won my first fight in the county jail. I’d have been much better off if I’d lost my first fight.
I beat the guy up and people are celebrating me. “I’m good here. They are celebrating me. Let me do that again. I beat up somebody else. They celebrated with me some more. I’m cool now.” I’m getting the affirmation that I can do this versus had I gone in and a guy punched me on my face and knocked the tooth out, I have been like, “I am not going back there no more.” The worst thing that happened to me is I won my first two fights.
I told myself, “I can do this.” When I was scared, that was the greatest time to get me. I saw they had the TV show Scared Straight. It’s not you yelling at me so when I’m in that holding cell, I’m scared to death. My fears are on flame and then I found out, “There is nothing to be scared about it. I can do this.” That was the worst thing that ever happened to me when I realized I had the capacity of doing time in prison. The fear went away and arrogance took over.
Did you go to Federal prison?
I went to the State prison first for ten months. I was so violent and incorrigible that the State prison called the Federal prison and they traded me. They did a prisoner exchange. They said, “We can’t keep him here. He’s too violent.” They were a prisoner exchange and they sent me to the Federal government as a transfer. I was in the Federal government for two and a half years, and I was so out of control there. They called the State back and said, “Give us our people back. You’re getting him back,” and they kicked me out. They sent me back to Massachusetts. That’s when I picked up the two attempted murder charges. They put me back in solitary. I’m thinking I’m winning. You could not tell me I was not winning.
What was going through your mind when you were this super violent guy? Sitting here talking to you right now and hearing your story about going to Paris and all over Europe, I don’t see that in you at all.
You don’t owe me any cigarettes. Owe me a couple of packs of cigarettes and pay late. Seriously, when you get into a system and you morph into what’s in there. You become what’s around you. People say money gives you the chance to be a better or bigger version of yourself, the prison gives you a chance to be another version of yourself. I went in. I was like, “I’ve got to survive. I’ve got to make it. I’ve got to be accepted. I’m going to copy what I see other people are doing.”
The most violent guy has the most control. I’m a control freak so I’m going to do it the way that the most violent guy wins. He’s in charge. I’ll be the most violent guy. It was a rationalization versus anything else. I realized that if I hurt people in prison, then people will respect me. I get the status. I justified it by saying that they’re criminals. I’m not beating up little old ladies at the bus stop. I’m beating up gang members, murderers, rapists, and stickup kids. I’m not out there terrorizing people. Everybody here is a criminal. You all signed up for this. That’s how it goes.
Prison System: The prison system today unfortunately teaches people about the necessity of hurting others just to gain status and respect. They justify this by telling themselves that they are hurting criminals.
Isn’t there always the next toughest guy coming along? Is there somebody always wanting to challenge you?
One hundred percent. I realized early on this is the better way. People aren’t scared to fight. How many people got in the ring with Mike Tyson knowing they were going to lose? They still got in the ring because they’re not scared of fighting. If Mike Tyson had a knife, how many people would get in the ring with him?
No one.
I’d put down the gloves and pick up a knife. I know how to position myself with a no-lose clause. My thing was I’m going to be the most extreme. I’m not going to beat you up. That’s Mike Tyson and you’ll fight him because too many people have fought him. People fought Mike Tyson, Muhammad Ali, and George Foreman. Nobody’s ever not climbed in a ring even though they won’t get knocked out or not. For me, I realized that even Mike Tyson, Muhammad Ali, and George Foreman got beaten. They all got beaten.
I’m like, “Let me up the price to fight Andre. There’s a different price. Are you willing to give your life to do combat with me? This isn’t a knockout. Either I die or you die. Those are the stakes.” Very few people, for the most part, nobody wanted to put those stakes on the table. “You fight me, I might knock you out. You get a black eye or a busted lip.” “I’ll go for that.” If you come at me, one of us is dying. If it’s you or if it’s me, one of us got to die. If you won’t do that, keep it moving because I’m not rolling around on the floor with you. I upped it and when I went to that status, nobody wanted to deal with me. They’re like, “He’s playing a whole other game.”
I think I remember you telling a story about when you walk into prison, you’re given a manual of how you’re supposed to act in the prison but then when you walk in with the inmates, you were given a different set of rules.
During my first couple of days at the prison, I went down to the caseworker’s office, and she told me I can get a Forklift degree. I can get my GED. I can get a college degree and all this stuff that I could do while I was in prison. I was like, “I didn’t know this about prison.” “Did you know you can get a GED or a Forklift degree, a college degree, or high school?” I’m like, “This is great.” I went back and I called my mom. I’m like, “Mom, it’s not that bad here. I can get all these degrees and make my life better. When I come home, I’ll be able to do something.” She says, “Great, son.” The next morning, I’m at the gate waiting to go to the school building, and then the homies rolled up on me and said, “Dre, where are you going?” I say, “I’m going to school. I’m about to better my life.”
They’re like, “He got the caseworker’s speech.” I said, “What do you mean?” They said, “Do you see those guys over there? That’s the White guys. When they find out that you’re on your own, they’re going to beat you up and take your stuff and that caseworker is not going to help you. You see those guys over there? That’s a Latino gang. When the White guys are finished, they’re going to run in and beat you up because you’re by yourself and the caseworker’s not going to come help you.”
“Do you see those guys over there? That’s the Black guys from the other side of town. When the White guys and the Spanish guys finished, they can go in and beat you up. When they find out you have nothing, they are going to beat you again for not having nothing, and the caseworker is not going to help you. If you hang out with us, we’ll make sure nobody does anything to you. Nothing will ever happen to you unless it happens to all of us. It’s all of us or you can go by yourself.”
I looked at the White guys, the Spanish guys, the Black guys, and the guys in front of me. I took that little folder they gave me and threw that s*** in the trash. He handed me a knife and I’m on deck. That was my first, “This is how life in prison goes. It’s not how you want it to go.” Your life is in the hands of other criminals. The people who’ve made awful choices throughout their entire lives are now governing your life which is what made me say, “I don’t want these people governing my life. I want to be in charge.”
[bctt tweet=”In prison, your life is in the hands of criminals. You are governed by people who have awful choices in their entire lives.” username=”whyinstitute”]
The only way to be in charge is to raise up to number one, and the only way to raise up to number one is to go down this path of hurting people. It’s because if you don’t get to be number one, then other people will decide your life for you, and I didn’t want that. I can’t wake up every day, “Are they going to rape me now? Are they going to take my TV? Are they going to take my Snickers and my candy bars? What are they going to do to me now?” I can’t wake up every day in fear of something happening to me so I said, “I’m going to take control of the fear. I’d rather be the bully than the bullied in prison.”
You’re the number one guy in prison. You’re the guy. Take us through a day in the life of the number one guy in prison.
My day starts at about 4:35 when I wake up in a single cell, and I sit at the end of my bed. I said, “I control contraband. I control drugs. I control money and commerce.” I wake up every morning. I sit on my bed and I said, “Not who wants to kill me now,” because everybody in the prison technically wants to kill me because they want my job. Who doesn’t want to be Bill Gates? Who doesn’t want Bill Gates checked? Imagine if you can be Bill Gates just by stabbing him.
If that was the case, Bill’s like, “You don’t have to be smarter than me. You don’t have to open up another company that I can buy out. You only have to get close enough to stab me, then you can have my position.” Bill Gates would’ve been out of here a long time ago. It’s the same thing with every other CEO. If all you had to do was get Jeff Bezos and beat him down, then you can get to own Amazon. He wouldn’t be owning Amazon for too much longer.
In prison, if you can beat me down or kill me, you get my position. Every morning at 4:00, I wake up and I say, “Not who wants to but who’s going to try.” I would go through my database of all the variables and things that happened the day before. Everything moves. I’d be like, “It’s going to be Steven.” I’d deduce why Steven, why Johnny, or why Rakeen. I figured it out because if you don’t figure out someone wants to kill you before they do, then you’re dead.
If I figure it out when you get to my cell door that it was you, I’m dead. I am forced to figure it out in advance. I have to look at who came in and what gang are they a part of. Who left? What gang are they a part of? Who’s in solitary? What cell is working? What shift is it? Whose birthday is it? Whose mother died this day? I got to think of every single variable that’s happening in this jail that’s going to impact my life because when I get it wrong, I die.
It’s get-it-right-or-die. There’s no in-between. I wake up every morning at the end of my bed and I come up with, “Who’s it going to be now?” I would go see them first and confront them like, “I think you got a plan to kill me later on this day.” They are like, “What are you talking about?” It’s because I have to figure it out before you figure it out. The funny part is you haven’t figured it out yet because once you figure it out, I lose.
I’ve got to get to you before you figure it out, which was always crazy. I would come to you and give you the rationalization for why he was going to try to kill me. He is like, “That makes a lot of sense, Andre, but I would bring 2 or 3 guys with me who will be ready to murder you. I hate to have to murder you, but it’s you or me.” I would explain to you the scenario that you’re going to be faced with that’s going to bring you to the conclusion of killing me.
I would say to you, “How do you think I should handle this? Should I wait until 12:00 and you roll on me or should I get you ahead at 9:00?” They are like, “Come on, Dre. It’s not like that. I didn’t have that thought yet. You can’t hold me now.” I’m like, “Yes, I can.” I would look at you and make a decision. Do you pose a threat to me? You are standing down now and I believe in it.
In prison, you go by your word. What you say is authentic and real. If you say, “I’m standing down, I’m not going with that plan,” and you double back, it’s not a respectable move. It’s like a cheap shot. If I can get you to stand down and I can believe that you’re going to stand down, I keep moving. If I didn’t, they’ll take you out on a stretcher.
Prison System: In prison, you go by your word. Everything you say is authentic and real. If you say you are standing down, stay true to it.
You have to do that every day.
Every morning at 4:00 or 4:30, I’m like, “What happened yesterday? Who came in? Who left? Who got mad? Who teamed up?” You’re a White guy. You’re from whatever part of town and there’s 30 of you. Your cousin just came to the prison and he’s in the other White gang, and it’s 30 of them. Your cousin being a member of the other gang means your two gangs are now going to merge because you have a lynch. You have that hinge to bring you both together. I’m not dealing with 30. I’m dealing with 60 now.
I’m dealing with 60 people because you’ve got that lynchpin. Yesterday, it was just two separate gangs, but because your cousin is a top member of that gang and he just came back, now you two are going to unite. Now I got 60 people I’m dealing with versus 30. Somebody is going to have the bright idea that you should get a larger percentage of what’s going on in the prison because you’re 60, not 30. 30 and 30 get what it gets, but 60 gets more than that. What’s standing in the way of you getting a bigger percentage? Andre. You have your lynch man.
You’re going to have a meeting together at 60. We’ve got way more soldiers. We can make more power moves. We’ve got more for a power move because we have a united front of 60 people. I’ve got to come see you at 9:00 in the morning and be like, “I know your cousin just came. He’s still in new man. He hasn’t got out of new man yet, but when he gets out, he’s going to come to you with this great idea of your two gangs uniting and that you all should get more lion’s share or profit share what’s going on and Andre is the way. It’s two days away but I’m here in advance because I know your cousin and I know you. It is only a matter of time before you all get together.” They are like, “Yeah, it makes sense.” It would make sense to me. “I’m here to have a conversation. How are we going to do this?”
You’ve got to be not only tough. You’ve got to be smart.
Tough only lasts about a week. Tough will get you through the first week because if all you are is tough, they can get you out of the way. You’re going to respond to the first slight or the first thing. You’re going to crash out. We call them crash dummies. Something is going to happen that’s going to make you crash out and then you are no longer a threat. If I want to get rid of you, I’ll send some dude over there to call out your name. You going to beat them up. They’re going to take you off the camp. You’re out here. It’s really easy to get rid of crash dummies. You can’t be tough enough. Tough doesn’t get it. You have to outthink 2,000 people every day.
[bctt tweet=”Being tough won’t help you survive in prison. You have to outthink thousands of people every day.” username=”whyinstitute”]
How did you end up going from the leader of the gang in prison to solitary confinement?
I tried to kill a couple of people. In prison, the status is violence. That’s communication. That’s the currency. Your name is how tough you are and how violent you are. I was trying to be the ultimate guy in prison. Somebody who murdered somebody in prison. It doesn’t matter what you do on the street or how much money you made. It’s what have you done back here.
When you were a kid, what did you do in college? What are you doing out here in the entrepreneurship world? When you are a kid, what did you have in your startup? What are you doing in the entrepreneurship world? That’s how you judge people. When you see NBA players, they say, “How many rings have you got?” They stay clown at Charles Barkley because he doesn’t have rings. That’s always the first joke. “You don’t have any rings, Charles.” He was a great player and an all-time great but he doesn’t have a ring. I always go down to him, Karl Malone, Patrick Ewing, and John Stockton. You get a list of them. Dominique Wilkins doesn’t have rings and it takes them out of the greatest of all times discussion.
You were going to be the best.
I’m going for the top.
I think you said you were good at stabbing but not very good at killing or something like that.
I’m so happy that nobody physically died. If there are skills you’d want to be bad at, killing people should be one of them. I had the heart, the courage, the fortitude, and the will. I had to be on top. It wasn’t for lack of trying. I just was not good at killing people. Lo and behold, my job now is saving people. I’m great at saving people with depression and suicide. If you have Imposter syndrome, I’ll pull you back, but I am really bad. It wasn’t in me. God was like, “That’s not your calling.” Some people will never be super wealthy or whatever because it’s just not for them.
What was it like to go into solitary confinement?
Solitary confinement is the ultimate challenge because you’re in there with yourself. The world is full of distractions. I got an iPhone, a computer, a car outside, books in front of me, books behind me, a trumpet, stuff to do, people to talk to, stores I can go to, and restaurants. You never have to confront yourself.
When was the last time you sat down for an hour in a room with nothing and focused on yourself? “Who am I? Why am I here? Where’s my life at? Am I happy with my life? What are the decisions I made?” I sat there in a cell 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and I had to confront myself, which is something I had never done before because, in population, you are always going to be distracted by gang fights, some hustling, or some basketball. You can be distracted. There are no distractions in solitary.
For 24 hours, you will face yourself. I’ve watched a lot of people go crazy, crack up, commit suicide, set themselves on fire, or cut up because the reality of who they are was too much to bear. Are you ready to deal with who you are? Do you want to meet who you are? I had somebody say the worst that could happen is at death, you meet the person that you should’ve been. Who are you now and why are you here? When was the last time you asked yourself, “Why are you alive?”
I watched people every day. They go day to day. They find stuff to do. I’m building this house. I’m building this business. There is stuff to do but when was the last time you asked yourself, “Why am I here?” Cut everything else out of the way. I watch people confuse business with purpose, charity with purpose, raising a family with purpose, and all this other stuff like reading books with purpose. What is your purpose?
I sat in a cell and I had to ask myself, “What is my purpose?” I’m in a 10×8 and I’m running like crazy for myself but eventually, the question came back. I was like, “I am not this person I’m pretending to be. I’m not this drug dealer. I’m not a gang leader. I’m not a murderer. I am a criminal, but I’m not these other things. I’m not a bad person. I just made dumb choices and that can change.”
I said, “Who are you? Are you ready to change that?” I came to grips. I sat in his cell for almost two and a half years with one question, “Who are you Andre Norman?” When I finally figured that out, I said, “What’s in the way of Andre Norman being the best version of himself?” I wrote those things down and I started working on those things that were stopping me because it’s a clear distinction. What’s stopping me from being the best version of myself?
I knock those things out and I got to think what I say to people. You never have to give somebody who’s gifted more gifts or more opportunities. You need to take the pain out of their life. The potential wasn’t stopping me from being great. It was a pain in my life. Once I realized who I was and the thing that was stopping me from being great was my personal pain, then I found a way to remove that personal pain.
I went from the basement of a prison, an illiterate ex-gang member, to someone who worked in the White House. Someone that the United Nations calls and asks for global terrorism help. Some countries like Honduras and West Africa call to help with cartels and people dying and child soldiers. I’m the guy that Joe Polish calls if somebody calls him the number one mastermind group in the world with a family issue.
How did I go from the basement of a prison and a nobody to being one of the most sought-after change agents on planet Earth? I finally figured out why I was here and what was stopping me from being that thing. Many people are like, “I got a job. I make money. I got a nice house, a boat, and an insurance package. I’m going with this day to day.”
I’ve seen so many people, my father included, I put my father on that list. My father is 82 years old in an assisted living house in Connecticut and he’s miserable. Do you know why? He’s looking back over his 82 years and he says, “I wasn’t my authentic self. I was who my dad wanted me to be. I was who my mom wanted me to be. I was who my wife wanted me to be. I was who my kids wanted me to be. I was who my friends wanted me to be. I was all these things other people wanted me to be.” He lost himself a long time ago.
I look at people and I worked with some of the wealthiest people on the planet Earth like YPO. I’ve been to Saudi Arabia and Australia. I’ve been all over the planet. I went to Saudi. There was a guy there. He says he’s stressed out. He’s like, “What do I do? I have a son and my son is doing phenomenal. He has everything he wants.” My dad taught me to work hard, save money, and take care of my family. The boom came in Saudi and he became a multi-multimillionaire.
His son has enough money for retirement at nineteen. He says, “How do I motivate a nineteen-year-old who’s a multimillionaire?” He doesn’t have to work for. It’s there. He was lost. I had to go in and help him figure out how to talk to his son about getting him encouraged and getting him on track. I get calls every day like, “Dre, I got this kid, my daughter, my niece, or my whatever,” and they’re damn near suicidal because they can’t figure out their purpose.
It’s not that they didn’t get selected to a team or people don’t want to be their friend. Those things matter when you don’t know who you are. Somebody come out now and say, “Dre, I hate your guts.” “That’s nice. Have a nice day. I hope you’re doing well.” It doesn’t bother me. If you’d said it to me when I was in sixth grade, I’d have had a heart attack. “You have to like me. You can’t not like me.” “You can’t play trumpet because we don’t think it’s cool. “You all have to think it’s cool. If you don’t think it’s cool, I can’t live.”
As the leader, I do leadership development. I don’t do follower training. Helping people be better is what I do. First and foremost, you got to find out who you are and then I’m going to show you how to activate that. If I can go from the basement of a prison to working at The White House, the UN, the London Business School, Genius Network, the War Room, YPO, and EO, I go down the list. I went from the basement of a prison to the top agencies on planet Earth with very little help. What can your readers go to?
I’m assuming they’re living in houses and not trailer parks. I don’t think nobody is reading this in a homeless shelter. They have means and they have access to people like you who have means. It’s not about having, it’s about embracing. What I want to do is help people activate that thing inside of them. They say, “Dre, you got the edge.” I call it my edge training because to take over maximum security prison, it takes an edge and to fight your way back out to that place takes an edge.
To walk into West Africa, Honduras, Ferguson, Missouri, or any other place, I had to walk into Harvard and feel like I belonged there because I did. I walked into The White House. I feel like I belonged there because I did. I embrace my gift. I embrace my edge and I exercise it. That’s it. I’m not the best at everything, but I’m the best at what I’m the best at.
How did you get from solitary confinement to The White House? Take us on that journey.
I became my own first client. I have seen the A-club. I didn’t join that club. I need to be an A-club guy. I came up with a plan that I wanted to go home. First, I had to understand what I didn’t want. People stopped picking what they do want, but they didn’t get rid of what they didn’t want. The first thing I had to do was decide I no longer wanted to be king of the prison. That was the first step. Before I decided I wanted to go to Harvard, I decided I didn’t want to be king of the prison.
Prison System: People start picking what they want, but they don’t get rid of what they don’t want.
I gave up the false hope or the dumb dream then I looked in the mirror and said, “What do I want to be? I’m in prison and I want to be free.” I went to the second step. Most people go to the first step and then stop. “You want to be free. That makes sense but let us help you get free.” Do you know what free is for me? It’s the parking lot. If I hit the parking lot, I’m free. I have no plan beyond the parking lot so I go back to what I was doing before because I’m hitting my max.
I said, “I don’t want to be free because free is only the parking lot. I don’t want it to be just the parking lot. I want to go beyond the parking lot. I said, “Why do I want to go beyond the parking lot?” I want to be successful. Successful people go to college. I said, “I’d go to college.” I picked a school. I called Harvard. I go home. I go to college and be successful. That was the goal.
I looked in the mirror and I said, “What’s inside of me stopping his dream from happening? I’m Black. I can’t read. I’m a gang leader. I’m violent. I have anger issues. I’m saying my family doesn’t support me and I don’t read well. I’m saying I got 105 years in prison.” I made a list of the things that were in the way of me attending Harvard University. First, I went back to school and got my GED. I then went to anger management programs. I went to self-help groups. I taught myself the law because it wasn’t me fighting in the yard that was keeping me in jail. It was me not fighting my case in court.
I taught myself the law and reversed my case on appeal. I kept fighting. I made that list and I worked on that list. Every single day, I put all of my energy and effort into that list and made sure I took that list down and I did. Once I got past the prison part, it took me eight years. I didn’t do it in eight days. It was 8 years of 20 hours a day being committed to the goal of success. You would look at me, “Is this what a successful guy acts like?”
I couldn’t be a tough guy in the daytime and successful at night. I had to be successful all the time starting now. It’s not when I get there. Hold me accountable for what I say I’m going to be now. Many people want to be held accountable after they achieve it. I cut all the corners, cheat other people, and do all this stuff. Don’t stop holding me accountable for being rich until I get the money.
You have to embrace it and embody it on the front end. I embraced and embody being successful on the front end. I walked around that prison like I was a Harvard student. They’re like, “Why are you acting like that man?” I am like, “This is how a Harvard student acts.” “You are never going to Harvard.” When I got there, I had already been there. I didn’t have to overwhelm by Imposter syndrome. I’ve been here for years. It only took me a while to get to the campus.
When I got to the campus, I was there and I was received, that’s another thing. There’s getting in the room and then they’re staying in the room. I got in the room. “He made it to Harvard.” That was the easy part. Not getting kicked out was the hard part. I go and act like a fool, idiot, or a gang leader, they’re kicking me about there. What was the point of going if you’re not going to comport yourself in a way that makes you amenable and wants people to keep you around?
It was eight years of working on one list. A) Who am I? B) Who don’t I want to be? C) What’s stopping me from being the A? It was A, B, C. I’m gone but then the accountability part is I have a lot of accountability coaches, partners, and mentors. It wasn’t only me pulling my boots up. I had a lot of help, but I had to ask for help. I had to accept the help. People in my life tell me no now. You couldn’t tell me no when I was a gang leader. Who are you?
Once I became a student, you could tell me no. You could tell me there’s another way to do it. There’s a better way to do it. I listened and I applied. The way I got from the basement of the prison to Harvard was I embraced who I was supposed to be. I let go of who I didn’t want to be and then became a student of everything it took me to be that thing.
I’m sure people reading this are thinking the same question as I am. You go into solitary confinement as the leader of the gang. In solitary confinement, you become somebody different. Now you come back out, how were you accepted and how were you able to stay out of getting your butt kicked?
This is a question I asked you, folks. If you saw Mike Tyson at the gas station, would you talk s*** to him?
No.
He’s retired though.
He’s still tough.
Exactly. When I retired, I was still Andre Norman. I didn’t become some friendly or soft guy who used to get beat up all the time. What was the best-case scenario for poking at me that you could hope for?
Not dying.
That’s the best-case scenario you can hope for. My reputation gave me a lot of latitude in going forward. I had a couple of guys challenge me, “Dre, why are you going to programs all the time? Why are you in that building all the time? Why are you doing it?” They kept challenging me and I said, “My father and I had a bad relationship. It’s caused me to not believe in myself and to have quitter syndrome. You don’t get all that. You don’t care. I need to go to counseling so I can fix the relationship between me and my dad to make my life better.”
They said, “Dre, you’re the smartest guy in prison. You don’t need to go to counseling.” I said, “I am, but that’s why I’m going because I’m the smartest guy here. I figured it out.” They said, “What’s going on up there?” They started challenging my integrity. I said, “I’ll tell you what. I’m going to counseling no more and there are two things I can talk about. I’m going to let you choose which I talk about. I can either go to counseling and talk about me and my dad not getting along and him letting me down and then it infected my decision making or I can go to you, get my knife, stab you in the face and I can talk about that but either way, I’m going. What do you prefer I talk about? The guy looked at me and he said, “Dre, that’s awful what your dad did to you. You need to go get that fixed.”
I said, “Are you sure because I have no problem talking about you? If you want to be the topic of my conversation when I am in counseling, you can be. I will stab you dead in your face right now. You’re not going to stop me.” I didn’t want to stab him but in prison, you can’t be soft. I got to stand for this. Right now, when I go out to help White kids, people are like, “Dre, why are you helping the White kids? We did dope. We were addicts. We were scum on the Earth. Now, White kids do dope. It’s opioids and they’re victims. It’s a health problem. We did it. We were criminals. White kids do it. Why are you helping the White kids? How are you helping these people? We are in jail for selling weed. Now they all got weed shops. They are not letting any of us out of jail.”
There’s an undercurrent in the community that says, “I can’t help White people because of unjust systems and laws from before.” It’s true. It is been unfair and unjust in a lot of spaces and places. There’s a fifteen-year-old kid in Montana who needed my help. She was a White kid and she was trying to commit suicide. She didn’t protest, vote, slam any doors, or deny any access to housing. She’s just a fifteen-year-old White girl whose life was screwed up.
I flew to Helena, Montana to help that one girl because I wanted her to live. I want everybody to live. I tell all my brothers in comrades and arms, “Do you help kids or do you help Black kids? I help all.” I am always going to be pro-Black. Don’t ever get it twisted like, “Dre is down in the middle.” I’m not down in the middle. I’ll always chant and root for Black people. It’s who I am but I’m a servant for all people. I do not show up because you’re White. I do not show up because you’re Spanish. I do not show up because you’re Asian.
Prison System: If you want to be a servant for the people, show up for everyone and not just for a specific race.
If you call my phone, I’ll show up and I’m going to give you just as much energy because I only know one way to do things all out. If I show up, I don’t have two gears. The people who look like me gear and the people that don’t look like me gear. When I show up, I show up but it took me a while to learn to transition. When I first came home, I worked with Black kids because I was comfortable there and I started working with girls. I got comfortable there. Somebody said, “Dre, some White kids went and helped them because they are White and their parents want to pay you.”
I said, “With White kids, I got no problems.” I went to the White school, they drink, smoke, and got issues too. I didn’t know that. I grew up watching The Brady Bunch and Leave It to Beaver. White kids never had problems. I went to the White school and these kids are cutting up, cutting their wrists, and committing suicide. I was like, “Never again will I judge somebody based on my ignorance.” If you call me, I’ll come but I had to grow to that.
In the beginning, I helped a certain group of people and I grew to where I am now. I have to give the same space for the next person who’s White, Spanish, or Asian, who has to grow to the space of saying, “I’m going to embrace Black people. It’s not normal. They didn’t live next door to me. I have no reference. I’m not expecting that this is the right thing to do.” No, you have to get context. You have to get your hands dirty. You have to have experiences and it’s my job to help folks have those experiences so they can then go back into their own space and place and say, “I met a cool Black guy. I met a straight-up Black guy.” Some people haven’t and they need to meet Andre or whoever is going to be the first guy that lets them know that it’s not everybody.
Let’s talk about Detroit. I know you’ve got something big happening in Detroit.
The plan for Detroit was I’ll go to Detroit and help them with the gun violence. We have a gun violence problem in America. People are shooting people at alarming rates. The deal with this is I’m creating a gun violence solution for America. I started programming in 1999 as a free person. I’ve created all kinds of programs. We help create the Office of Faith-based and Community Initiatives for George W. Bush. We’ve created Violence Interrupters. I can go on a list of programs we’ve created that are now nationally based.
The Mayor of Detroit and the Deputy Mayor of Detroit want to keep their people alive. That’s every city’s hope. My challenge is to sit down and create a comprehensive gun violence program that’s going to save lives in this country full stop. It’s not dedicated to anyone. Detroit is definitely on the list. I’m there, but we have to do something. As I said, to the people reading this, what is your purpose? My purpose is I solve problems. I can solve small problems. I can solve big problems. I can solve problems that pay me. I can solve problems that keep people alive. Right now, as an American citizen, I still live in the best country on the planet Earth and we have a problem. Am I willing to take your time and extend my energies and gifts to solving this problem?
You and I talked that one day about how similar what you’re planning on doing in Detroit was to the Mayor of Kingstown, the TV show.
I watched the Mayor of Kingstown, and I like this show to a certain extent. They had a show called The Odds. As someone who’s done time, the prison stuff is never going to be 100% authentic to me. I’m quite sure some cops will say, “It’s not like that.” A prisoner or a gang member’s perspective is slightly different but I get it. It’s like that. If I was the Mayor of Kingstown, I’d be more on the gang side than on the police side. It would have the same result. Instead of me being side by side with the police every day, I’d be side by side with the gang members and going to the police versus the other way around but it runs like that in real-time.
How much of the crime and gun violence in Detroit comes from inside the prisons?
I wouldn’t say Detroit. I would say nationwide. People go to jail. They don’t disappear. You go to jail and they have cell phones. They have internet. They have all kinds of access to talk to people in the free world whether it’s a phone, a video visit, a real visit, a radio, or a letter. If I don’t like you, I can tell the gang I came from, “I don’t like him. I need to do X, Y, or Z.”
There is a lot of communication between people who you gave 50 years who have no incentive to send out a positive message versus somebody who’s incentivized to give out positive messages. Part of my program includes the prison system as part of the solution because you can’t act like they’ve disappeared. You have two million people sitting in their prison cells. They’re real and they need to be part of the solution and not left to the sidelines that makes them part of the problem.
Prison System: Millions of people are sitting in their prison cells. They need to be part of the solution. If they are just left to the sidelines, they will become part of the problem.
When I was a dentist, I had a patient that was homeless for nineteen years. He inherited some money and came in to get his teeth fixed. I asked him one day, “If you were tasked with solving the homeless problem, would you know what to do?” He said, “Yeah, I could solve it in no time flat.” I’ll ask you the same question. If you were tasked with solving the issue of so many people being incarcerated in our prison system, would you know what to do?
One hundred percent. My mother taught me a long time ago, “If you don’t have a solution, keep your mouth shut because they’re going to call you uptown one day. They’re going to put you in that big chair and they’re going to ask you, ‘How do you solve this problem?’” When you can’t do it, they’re going to say, “The best and the brightest of you can’t solve it. We’re going to do it our way.”
I dare them to call me to the State House, the Congress, or wherever. We can fix prisons. It is the fixable solution. It starts with education. Every next criminal, every next school shooter, every next gang member, every next drug addict is sitting in K1, K2, and first grade right now and we’re ignoring them. We’re paying them no attention. We’re cussing them off. Until that 1st grader becomes a 12th grader with a gun, we don’t care.
Until that first grader becomes seventeen years old and homeless, we don’t care. Until that first grader becomes a prostitute, we don’t care. Let’s get them before they make these bad choices. It’s because, in kindergarten, I was the nicest guy in the suit. I wore a suit and tie. I did everything I was supposed to do. As I got older, the world took over. If you say, “Dre, what is your solution for prison?” We have to go back to K1 and K2 and fix it.
The last thing is if people are following you or want to learn more about what you’re doing, participate in what you’re doing, or follow you, what’s the best way for them to do that or get in touch with you?
The best way to get in touch with me is through YouTube. I have a YouTube channel. I have an Instagram channel. I have a TikTok channel. I have a LinkedIn channel. Also, they can always reach out to you. If they’re not sure, they can call you and you can tell them how to reach me but I’m online on social media around the world. My website is AndreNorman.com. If you call me, I’d be helpful. That’s all I can say but don’t tell yourself, “He won’t help me because he’s too busy.” That’s one of the things blocking you from being great. It’s self-talk.
Andre, thank you so much for being here. I was looking forward to this, connecting with you, and hearing more about your story.
Once the people write and you all got to send some comments in, you all got to reply to this man, let him know you want part two, and tell him what you want to talk about. We’ll then come back and do part two because there’s always a better way.
Thanks, Andre.
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It’s time for our new segment, Guess Their WHY. I want to use Scarface, Alphonse Capone. He was Chicago’s most famous mob boss, and he spent eight months at Eastern State from 1929 to 1930. He was arrested for carrying a concealed deadly weapon. This was Capone’s first prison sentence, and his time spent there was in relative luxury. His cell was on Park Avenue Block. He had fine furniture, oriental rugs, and cabinet radios. What do you think his why is?
I believe that his why was like Andre’s to find a better way. Even though he ended up going to prison, he found a better way to make it bearable and probably even enjoyable to some extent. I believe his why is to find a better way and share it. Thank you so much for reading. If you’ve not yet discovered your why, you could do so at WhyInstitute.com. You can use the code, PODCAST50, and discover it at half the price. If you love the show, please don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and a rating on whatever platform you are tuning into. Thank you so much. I will see you next episode.
Andre Norman is the #1 prison success story in the world. Growing up in Boston, Andre struggled with poverty and illiteracy. After quitting on his dream of being a trumpet player, he turned to the streets. Eventually finding himself before a judge where he was sentenced to over 100 years in prison.
The first six years, he immersed himself in prison culture, gaining status and recognition within the system. This led to him being placed in solitary confinement for two years.
While in solitary Andre had an epiphany and realized he had become the KING of nowhere. After assessing his current life and life, he wanted to create. With a one percent chance of succeeding, he formulated a plan to go to Harvard and become successful.
Over the next 8 years, Andre would work 20 hours a day. He taught himself to read, taught himself the law, went to anger management and personal development groups.
He was awarded parole and released having served 14 years. 90 minutes after obtaining his freedom, Andre made his first speech to a room of young black men who were in juvenile detention, which is where he once sat. He taught them three basic principles. The importance of accepting accountability and embracing mentorship, how to create a plan and live with integrity, and how to become a leader and never quit.
For the last 20 plus years he’s been teaching these principles around the world. Having made stops in over 30 countries and working with top agencies such as YPO, EO, Genius Network, The White House, Ferguson (MO), Harvard, or at London Business School, all the while still working on his passion of helping people turn their lives around.
He currently runs the Academy of Hope, a violence reduction prison based program. Having gone from being hopeless in prison to now running prisons is why Andre Norman is the #1 prison success story in the world.
When you have the WHY of contribute, you always strive to contribute a greater cause, add value and have an impact on the lives of others. If this is your why, then you want to be part of a greater cause, something that is bigger than yourself. Our guest today best exemplifies this kind of WHY. Dave Sanderson was on US Airways Flight 1549, the one that’s called “The Miracle on the Hudson.” He was the last person to get off the plane. Dave emerged from the wreckage that day with a new mission to encourage others to do the right thing. Dave’s is a great story of how he helped others and how he finally had to help himself. You’re going to find it fascinating. Join in the conversation and learn how his WHY of contribute came into play during the incident and how it continues to drive his passion and purpose today.
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Watch the episode here
Listen to the podcast here
The WHY Of Contribute: Discover How To Live Your WHY With Miracle On The Hudson Survivor, Dave Sanderson
In this episode, you’re going to meet Dave Sanderson. He was on US Airways Flight 1549, the one that’s called The Miracle On The Hudson. He was the last person to get off the plane. His story is fascinating on how the water came in and what he did to jump over the seats to get to the back to help everybody else out, and how he had to survive and save himself at the end when there was no more room for him on the plane or in the little boats. It’s a great story of how he helped others and how he finally had to help himself. You’re going to find it fascinating. I can’t wait to share it with you.
We’re going to be talking about the Why of Contribute, to contribute to a greater cause, add value, and have an impact on the lives of others. If this is your why, then you want to be part of a greater cause, something that is bigger than yourself. You don’t necessarily want to be the face of the cause, but you want to contribute to it in a meaningful way.
You love to support others and relish successes that continue for the greater good of the team. You see group victories as personal victories. You are often behind the scenes looking for ways to make the world better. You make a reliable and committed teammate, and you often act as the glue that holds everyone else together. You use your time, money, energy, resources, and connections to add value to other people and organizations.
I have a fascinating guest for you. When US Airways Flight 1549, or the Miracle On Hudson ditched into the Hudson River on January 15, 2009, Dave Sanderson knew he was exactly where he was supposed to be. As the last passenger off the plane on that fateful day, he was able to use the skills and resources he learned throughout his life to not only survive but help others.
He emerged from the wreckage that day with a new mission to encourage others to do the right thing when faced with a life-changing decision. This profound experience changed his life. Now he travels the globe sharing his inspirational and motivational leadership message to help people make a difference in how they do business and live their lives. Named one of Inc.com‘s Top 100 Leadership Speakers, Dave travels the world to share his inspirational leadership lessons raising over $14.8 million for the American Red Cross. Dave, welcome to the show.
Thank you for having me. I’m honored to be with you.
This is going to be interesting. Your intro told a lot about your story and I want to dive into that. Before we do that, can we go back a little bit in your life and let’s learn a little bit more about you?
I’d love to share a little bit more about how I got to that point. All these moments in your life matter are all make up for that one defining moment. Let’s talk about it.
[bctt tweet=”All these moments in your life matter, they all make up to that one defining moment.” username=”whyinstitute”]
Let’s go back. Where did you grow up and what were you like in high school?
In high school, I grew up in a place called Winchester, Virginia. Winchester’s at the point, the northernmost point of the South. I was there. I was an athlete. I played all sports. I was one of those athletes that was good at everything, but not great at pretty much anything. I could compete, but I wasn’t standing out between that. I was also the first president of our key club. The only reason I bring that up is if something very significant happened during that time that set me on this pathway of where I’m at nowadays.
Tell us what happened at the key club.
I was asked to be the president of the key club. The only reason I was asked initially was because I tore my knee ligaments up and third football game of the year, I was pretty much out the rest of the year. I’m the gentleman who was starting up came to me because he needed a leader and asked me if I’d do it. I did it. We started with nothing.
One of the things that he did for me is introduced me to people around the city of significance. One of those people happened to be the US Senator who was out of Winchester. His name is Harry Byrd Jr. I got the opportunity to meet a senator when I was a junior in high school, which was very significant because not to see what leadership was like at that level.
With that opened up for me is a couple of different things. Number one, since I was the president of the key club and I got that opportunity, Senator Byrd was holding a fundraiser in Northern Virginia. One of the people he invited was one of my heroes, Senator John Glenn, the first astronaut to orbit the Earth. That was like nirvana for me or an icing on the cake. I got to meet not only a senator, somebody who was not only historic but did something that nobody had ever done before, which gave me an eye-opening experience to, “Anything’s possible.”
As you know his story, he started at NASA when NASA was starting nothing. He was the third one up. That gave me the perspective, “You can touch people and get a hold of people if you do the right thing and work with people to do that.” I’ve never been afraid to talk to people and I’ve had opportunities to meet all these great people because I opened my eyes and was never afraid to approach people.
[bctt tweet=”You can touch people and get a hold of them if you do the right thing.” username=”whyinstitute”]
You graduate from high school and then what happens to you? Where’d you end up?
I went to college at James Madison University. I wanted to play football, but the second practice in, I was a walk-on. I was pretty much nobody. I hurt my knee again and my dad had come to Jesus talk with me, say, “You’re not going to play football. You’re not going to be a pro as you dreamt. You better get an education.” I was in the first International Business major class that Madison offered. As a freshman, they started the International Business discipline. I was one of the first people who graduate outback at James Madison.
What do you go into?
That’s exciting because my goal was to get an international business, and this was during the recession in the early ‘80s. There were no jobs in that era. I went home and my dad gave me 30 days to get a job to be out of the house. One of the great things I learned from my dad is he was a man of his word. When he said something, his promise meant something. In 30 days, Gary, I didn’t have a job. He helped me get my first job, and that was being a second assistant restaurant manager at a place called Howard Johnson. I knew nothing about hotel restaurants, but I was out of the house. He lived up and I lived up to that commitment.
What was it like being a second assistant at Johnson’s?
All of a sudden, you come out of college and you’re feeling pretty good about life. You got this great education and now, you’re working on second and third-shift learning skills that you never think about learning. That turned out the third stop is where I ended up here in Charlotte, North Carolina. That’s how I got here.
If I didn’t have that opportunity, if my dad didn’t make me do that, my whole destiny would’ve been changed because what happened for me is I was here. I wasn’t working the 2nd or 3rd shift. I was a low man on the totem pole. We didn’t lock up as you remember Howard Johnson was a 24-hour gig. I was there pretty much into the middle of the night, but there was a gentleman and a lady would come in every night. His name was Bill and her name was Bonnie.
They would come in. He’d go pickup truck and always wore a flannel shirt. What I found out about Bill, we’d come and talk, he’d come in and have his coffee. We’d have his ice cream and we talk. He owned over 80 movie theaters and restaurants in North and South Carolina. He was a multimillionaire back in the early ‘80s. His nickname around Charlotte was the Sam Walton of Charlotte. He was one of those guys, as you never know. He took me under his wing.
It happened to be on December 24th, 1984 when everything changed. He came to the restaurant early that day. He said, “I want to show you what I got my wife for Christmas. It was a brand-new blue Corvette.” I’d never seen a Corvette couldn’t spell and never smelled a Corvette, but it was cool. He threw me the key and said, “Let’s take a ride.” I’m like, “Let’s take a ride up and down Woodlawn Road.” We got in the car and we went up and back.
I said, “Bonnie’s going to dig this. She’s going to love it.” “You need one of these.” I said, “I’m making $13,000 a year. I’m working the second shift.” He goes, “That’s your problem. It’s your mindset. Do you mind if I coach you on how to have a mindset of success?” I had nothing to lose. For the next thirteen years, he took me under his wing. He was teaching me the mindset of success and how he became what he became. He was taking me to places. I was meeting the CEO of Bank of America which then was NCMB Bank, and First Union, and all the people he was running with.
I was on the edge of this, watching how he did it. Fast forward to May 1997, he called me to his office. He said, “I want to share a couple of things with you. 1) I’ve got lung cancer.” Bill smoked a couple of packs of unfiltered cannabis a day. This started back in the ‘20s. It wasn’t shocking, but it was like, “Okay.” He walked over to his desk, pulled out some papers, and sat down next to me. They put them on my lap. I’m like, “What’s going on?” He goes, “This is what I wrote down in 1920. These are the lessons. This is what I wrote.
When I got these lessons back in 1929. I want to give this to you, but you got to promise me something.” I said, “What?” He goes, “Do not let it die with you.” Bill passed away in September 1997, but he gave me these notes that he wrote in 1929, the mindset of what you have to have, what he learned during the roaring ‘20s. If my dad hadn’t lived to that promise, I never would’ve gotten to that opportunity. Now, I made a promise. I had to fulfill that promise.
What were in those notes? Give us some insight into what was written there.
He wrote all these lessons down. One of the lessons I always remember was that I have an alternative vision for the future. What does that mean? He shared with me about that and he took notes when he met Franklin Roosevelt in 1938. He idolized Roosevelt. One of the things he told me and wrote down is Roosevelt was always positive. He always had a vision for a bigger America and how it should be. That’s why leaders come at the right time in comfort countries.
He wrote about the time that he met Ronald Reagan in the early ‘80s. He had the same situation with Ronald Reagan. Reagan was always talking about that shining stick on the hill. He was always positive. One of the things he taught me and one of the lessons was you got to have an alternative vision. You got to look at the bigger picture of how your life could be and what you could do with your life instead of going down a pathway that other people want you to take.
Miracle On The Hudson: You have to have an alternative vision. You have to look at the bigger picture of how your life could be and what you could do with your life instead of going down a pathway that other people want you to take.
It was a tremendous lesson about faith. One of the things that he shared with me was because we lost a child, a seven-month-old back in 1990. I was messed up a little bit. I wasn’t producing as much as I probably could have. He shared what happened to him. He had a son back in the ‘30s that he got drafted to go to Korea. He said, “I could have stopped it. I had the money to do it. Everybody’s got their responsibility.” His son died in the Army in Korea.
He felt guilt for a long time, but then he realized that, and this is a lesson to think of going from the spiritual side. He said, “The same God that started the world was the same God with my son, the same God with your son. There’s a reason behind it.” That helped me a lot to get my mind around a lot of things. If you have faith, there are reasons behind it. You don’t know why, but you got to have faith that’s going to work out.
These are the kinds of lessons that he was teaching me all these years. That’s why I wrote my book From Turmoil To Triumph. These were the lessons that I got to implement that day on the Hudson River that came right from faith to looking at being able to do the mission and looking at how to be more responsive. That’s a long-winded answer, but that’s an amazing time now it’s my commitment to be able to share what he shared with me with the next generation.
From Turmoil to Triumph
How did Bill learn all of that?
He had a mentor and his mentor came to him in 1917. Bill lived around here in the Charlotte area. His dad was a farmer. As the story goes, as he shared with me, they’d come in to sell their crops because Charlotte was the hub and this guy would come in. He is always in a suit. He would come in and he’d talk. Bill was anxious. Bill loved movies in the early ‘20s but he didn’t have any money. The guy showed him how to get a few pennies together and get his first movie in his first movie house.
All of a sudden, he was learning from this very successful businessman. It got passed down from somebody 1910s to Bill then Bill ultimately was looking for somebody to pass it on to. I happened to be the guy there that he got and I agreed. I told my mom and dad. They were like, “Who is this guy?” I shared with them what happened. They’re like, “If he can offer you one bit of advice, take it on,” but he taught me much more than that.
Did you ever ask Bill why he picked you?
I never asked him why, but he told me a story around why. This came down when he was opening up his first movie theater in South Carolina in the 1930s. He never told me directly but hinted at why. He said that he was going down and it was a long drive to South Carolina. It wasn’t interstate highways. He needed somebody. He needed to hire a manager, somebody to manage that.
One of the bits of advice he got when he was starting his own business was, “Go on your instincts. You can do all the analysis you want but if you go on your instincts more often or not, it’s going to play out.” That gentleman stayed with him through the entire 1960s. He was with him the whole time in the 1960s. If I look back when he said that, told that story, he told me that he had something instinctively connected I don’t know why, but I thought, “I don’t question why, but I happened to be there at the right time. I was a recipient of a gift and that gift’s going to be passed on.”
[bctt tweet=”Go with your instincts. You can do all the analysis you want. But if you go in your instincts, more often or not, it’s going to play out.” username=”whyinstitute”]
He passes away in 1997. What happened to the movie theaters?
He’d already passed the movie theaters on. He was pretty much retired. The only reason I found out the backstory, I found out he was at movie theaters is when I started dating my future wife, I had no money. He gave me a couple of movie passes to go to take my girl out to the movies and be a hotshot. I went out. It’s in Queens Park. It is no longer there, but it’s down. It was about 2 miles from the restaurant. I took her there. We got in there to check in.
The guy says, “Tell Mr. Bill, ’Hey.’” I’m like, “What?” I went back and he said, “How was your experience?” “It was great. The guy took care of us.” He goes, “That’s one of my theaters.” That’s when I found out. He sent me to check in on doing what he wants to do. He had passed those on several years before or during that time. He was semi-retired at that point. He was coming to Howard Johnson every night to have coffee and ice cream.
He passes away, gives you his lessons, and then what did you do with them at that point? Take us on your career path.
I was in sales at that point. I was pretty successful and doing well. After this happened, what did I do with him? I put him in a journal and I didn’t look at him. What happened 4 or 5 months later is when I was asked by a gentleman named Tony Robbins to be his assistant head of security. I was on the security team. I had proximity to another master.
I was an assistant, which meant I managed the floor while other people managed other things. About two years later, in 2000 or so, he asked me to be head of security. I’m traveling and supporting Tony directly and the team. I was having these conversations with Tony, getting distinctions on these things that I learned, and getting new distinctions from Tony on some of these things.
For about many years, I was around Tony and then the head of security. I had the opportunity to be around masters. I learned from Bill but Tony taught me proximity’s power. If you’re around people who have influence and know things, that’s power. My dad told me that years ago in different ways. He said, “You don’t have to know everything, but you have to know somebody who does know everything.” He told me that when I was in high school and when I was a kid. It turned out to be true. For the next years, Tony gave me the opportunity to have a doctoral lesson in how to manage your mind especially that played out on January 15, 2009.
Miracle On The Hudson: You don’t have to know everything, but you have to know somebody who does know everything.
Were you working with Tony at the time that you were on that plane?
I was that and working for another company at the same time. I was working hard on both things. Tony was the only person who called me that night after the plane crash. The only thing about Tony, he’s got resources and if he wants to find somebody, he will find somebody. He’s the only one that found me sitting in a hospital recovering. He did a YouTube on that conversation. You go out to YouTube and see it and told a little bit about our conversation. It was very emotional for me. I wasn’t one of his people. I was his guy. That meant a lot to me.
Take us into that flight now that into flight 1549. Where was it going and where did you get on?
I got on in LaGuardia at the end of a three-day business trip. I got done early and changed the flight. I was on the first-class seat on the 5:00 flight, changed to flight 1549 at 2:40. I got seat 15A, 1549 on January 15th. A lot of fifteens going in there. I’ve got numerologist telling me what that means and that’s a whole other discussion, but nothing unusual. The plane was delayed. You have been out of LaGuardia. It was 11 degrees and was snowing. That’s not a big deal. It happens all the time. Nothing unusual about the takeoff. If you’ve ever taken off LaGuardia for folks who haven’t, the runways out into the bay, and then the normal flight pattern is they turn north and they start making their turns. Nothing unusual until about 60 seconds after when you hear a big explosion. That’s what got my attention.
I wasn’t paying attention. I was reading the magazine because I know everything. I’m Mr. Flier. I know everything. All of a sudden, you see fire coming out from needs the left wing like okay but the planes have multiple engines. We’ll go back. We get off the plane. I’m not going to get home early tonight, but no one knew at that moment, including the crew at that exact second it would happen on the left side of the plane where I was at. Also happened on the right side of the plane simultaneously. It knocked both engines out. The birds knocked them out simultaneously. The geese did. Now you have no power.
What did that feel like when you had no power?
It was like you’re gliding. That’s what was startling at first. You hear nothing. It’s quiet. I tell people, “Talk to any passenger. They’ll tell you the same thing.” It was quiet. You hear a pin drop.
People are looking at each other.
That’s where God’s grace entered because no one freaked out. No one was looking around or going crazy. Everybody’s looking around. I was like, “What’s going on?” They started banking. I’m like, “We’re going back to the airport. No big deal.” As he banked, I looked out the window and the skyline of Manhattan was right there. We were a little lower than the highest buildings. I looked out a little further. You see this bridge coming up which turned into the George Washington Bridge. I’ve never seen that bridge before in my life. I said, “Something is going on.”
Every second, things are going on until he says his famous words, “This is your captain. Brace for impact,” then at that point, it’s serious. Something’s going down and it doesn’t look good at this point because now, you’re clearing the George Washington by roughly 400 feet. The bridge is 600 feet up. The plane was 1,000 feet and at that point in descending. He clears about 400 feet and the only thing you see is water.
I’ve never seen a successful plane land in the water. They’re always toppling. That’s the moment there. You got to get your ducks in real pretty quick. You got to get things lined up in every which way pretty quickly and get your game plan together. If you do survive, what are you going to do now? That’s pretty much what happened. After I said my last prayers, I got my head down. I played sports. We always had a game plan. In business, I always had a game plan. My game plan was aisle up out. I kept it saying in my head. If I survived, I at least had to have a play game plan.
What do you mean, “Aisle up out?”
I was in seat 15A get to the aisle, go up in the middle row, and get out. That was my game plan because I wasn’t on the wing, I was four rows behind the wing. I had to go up to get out. One way or another, I had to go up. Aisle up out was my game plan.
The first time he came on the intercom was to tell you to brace. He didn’t tell you what was going on or what was happening. Nothing?
The only time he came on, that’s it. He was very succinct in his communication which was one of the great attributes that happened that day. Not only he, but the crew was very succinct. They kept saying, “Brace,” because they knew that was what was coming up.
What was it like when you hit the water?
It is an extremely hard hit. He estimates he hit between 100 to 120 miles an hour. If you see the hit and I’ve got to do my talk and I show a little video of it and 15A towards the back. The back hit first, which meant the brunt of the hit. It came down then it started right. It started skidding to slow down. It was a very hard hit. Water started coming in immediately because the back of the plane got torn off on the hit. Water starts coming in. Where I was, the water was about ankle to knee deep immediately it was 36-degree water. Back of the plane, it was more like chest-level deep water.
The people in the back of the plane were seat belted in and the water was chest high right off the bat. How long did it take to go from the hit to where you were stopped?
It took approximately 20 to 30 seconds from hit down sliding and totally stopping.
Why do other planes topple and yours didn’t?
He hit it perfectly. I’ve heard other pilots say the same thing, “One little degree, either toppling into New York City or Newark,” and that’s a bigger disaster than what happens. One degree nose down, you’re going straight to the bottom of the Hudson. One degree back, you’re going backward. He had to hit it perfectly.
How did he know to do that?
He had all those years of his moments, practice, and preparation.
Did you hear the back of the plane rip-off?
No. When we hit, I looked out the window. I saw lights. It was such a hard hit. I went back forward. It was that hard of a hit. It was a very jarring hit. The engine in the back of the plane was gone.
Water starts pouring in right away. Twenty seconds later, you’re stopped. What’s it like inside the plane? What’s going on?
The term I used that night with Katie Couric on CBS was controlled chaos. People were now in their heads. No one was pushing each other and get out of the way. It was moving quickly. People had to move because water is anywhere from the waist to chest level, deep in the back, by knee level deep where were you at, you got to go. You got to start moving. There’s no time to wait. You can’t mess around and think, “Let me get my stuff.” You got to go.
You did go. You did not get out. You were in seat A you said.
15A on the left side.
You were at a window.
I was at a window, four rows behind the left wing.
Was there somebody next to you?
The plane was full.
You had to wait for them to get out for you to then go out. Take us through it. The plane comes to a standstill.
It started going down for about 24 minutes when it was like this. It took about 24 minutes from going from relatively flat to backside in and up. What happened to me is when you know things were moving, it was my time to go. I got to the aisle and I’m like, “Aisle up out,” but then something happened that changed everything. I started hearing my mom talking in my head very quickly. There’s something my mom would tell me when I was a child and all of a sudden, I heard my mom. She passed away in 1997.
“If you do the right thing, God will take care of you.” I heard that and I had to make a decision. The decision I made was I climbed over the seats to go towards the back and see if anybody needed help because I was fine. I know anybody in the back was fine, but I was fine. Instead of going out, I climbed over the seats to get behind it. If things were moving pretty well, I asked if people were moving. There’s nobody standing still.
[bctt tweet=”If you do the right thing, God will take care of you.” username=”whyinstitute”]
I got behind the last person and I started making my way out. At that point, you’re about chest-level deep water. The back hit first. the bins had broken open and all the luggage is floating around. It’s dark. This is late afternoon winter in New York. The first light that I saw was on the right side of 10F and I’m like, “I’m out of here.” I got to the door. I started looking out and there was no room on the wing for me and no room on the boat for me.
That’s why it was amazing though. People were already being rescued. That’s why I was inside the plane waist-deep in 36-degree water for about seven minutes, holding onto that lifeboat because the lifeboat was floating out into the river. They were yelling at me to hold on so they could have access to the wing to get out.
When you think about going into a cold plunge, they’re about that. Sitting in there for a minute is excruciating, much less seven minutes. How long can you survive in 36-degree water?
EMTs told me I shouldn’t be around. It usually is no more than 90 seconds. What I’ve heard from other people is, “You get that adrenaline going.” That speeds your metabolism up, which I think is exactly what happened to me. I was like, “Let’s go.” I’m going into that athletic mode. Now I’m into play mode. I think that’s what happened because about seven minutes later is when I felt the plane shift.
I found out later that as one of the tugboats that was a part of the rescue backed out, he hit the front of the plane. When he hit the front of the plane, he shook the plane. I felt water going up my back. I’m like, “I got to get out of here. It’s going down.” That’s where I jumped in to start swimming to the closest boat that I could find at the end of the wing.
It was the longest 15-yard swim of my life because not only was I fully clothed. I’ve already been in 36-degree water for 7 minutes and there’s jet fuel in the water. When we were talking about your eye situation, that’s what happened. That’s why I wear glasses. I found out when I got back. I had jet fuel in my eyes. I got stuck in my eyes. That’s why I had a little hazy perspective that night, but I got there. My mom and dad had given me swimming lessons at the Red Cross when I was a young kid. I made everybody get out of that plane to swim. I had to swim for my life.
They pulled you into one of the boats.
You would think that. I got there and they started yelling at me to, “Climb.” The ferries are about 10 to 12 feet up and then a ladder there. I yelled up, “I can’t,” then I heard my mom talk to me because the word my mom hated most of my life was can’t. If you grew up in my house. You said, “I can’t,” to my mom and she would say, “If you can’t do it, you’re going to do it.” What I realized after she passed away, I talk about worldview a lot. People’s perspective of what’s going on is their worldview. Her worldview is, “If you can’t, you must.” She won’t accept it. I got 1 arm up and 2 men grabbed me and pulled me on one of the ferries. To this day, I don’t know who they are. That’s how I got out.
They pull you up into the boat and then what happens?
You think everything’s cool. I made it, but that’s not what happened. That’s a moment of adrenaline. You go. When you think you’ve made it, you said let it all go out. I equate it to you living out West and then when I spoke in Oregon, I saw these wildfires. I see these firefighters. They’re going in. They come out, they’re sitting on the curb, and they got nothing left. That’s what happened to me.
I was cold. I’ve been in the water now for a tent amount of time and the air temperature is 11 degrees. I could barely breathe. That’s the moment I thought I’m not going to make it. Fortunately, someone was there with a phone. They’re loud. Please let me get my message out. I said, “This is your father. I’ve been in a plane crash.” That’s all I could get out. At least I got the message out that I was alive. That’s how my family found out that I survived.
Did everybody survive or did some not survive?
It’s the only one in aviation history that everybody survived.
You’re sitting on the boat, freezing at an 11-degree temperature. Did they put you in blankets? Did they put you in hot water? What happened to you?
That would’ve been great if all that would’ve happened. None of that happened. They didn’t have any blankets on the boats because the boats were deployed immediately when after the plane crashed into the water. Arthur Imperatore of the New York Waterways set the boats out. Go. They weren’t supplied with all that. I went to the New Jersey side because I went out on the right side of the plane. Those ferries were going to New Jersey. The left side went to New York City. I got there. They put me down on the floor in his triage center and stripped all my clothes off. I’m sitting there in my underwear. I didn’t even know what was going on. My EMT tells me, “I’ll be right back.”
I’m on the floor pretty much naked. A guy walks up to me with a card hand and says, “I need your name and date of birth.” I give it to him and he puts that card around my right ankle and he walked away. I grew up in the ‘70s and there was a show called M*A*S*H. When they tagged your toe, you didn’t make it that’s exactly what I thought. I’m like, “I’m dead.” The movie Ghost is true. I’m watching this whole thing play out. Fortunately, EMT came and took my blood pressure and it was totally out of control. That’s when things started happening for me.
They didn’t give you blankets or anything to keep you warm.
They didn’t have anything.
That doesn’t sound like a lot of fun.
It’s one of those days that you were challenged at every point. That’s why I tell people, “One of the things I learned from Bill, Tony, and being around these people is it’s all about your mindset. If you can’t control your mind when all this stuff’s hitting around you, you’re not going to have a chance.” That’s why I try to teach these younger people, these young kids who are smarter as a whip but they’re having problems not controlling their mindset with all the COVID and all that other stuff that’s going on. They don’t have the wisdom yet to know that if you have that positive mental attitude and have that mindset, you can survive, and get another shot to play. That’s happening a lot to these kids.
I’ve talked to a lot of these kids and they’re scared because they’ve never had to face adversity. That’s one of the things my parents at least made me do when I was young, face adversity. They made me have consequences for my decisions. I’m a failure at that with my kids. I want my kids to make sure they had a good opportunity. One of the things I would do over if I had this whole thing to do over is I’ll put them in situations where they had to make a decision and they had a consequence. They can know how to make a decision when because everybody’s going to have that life-defining moment.
They ended up getting you to the hospital, hypothermia, and all the rest. How long were you in the hospital?
I was only in the hospital overnight because I want to go home. I shouldn’t have gone home. I was very fortunate that the circumstances played out where I could get home. When I got home, I had made some promises. I go to the doctor and all this and I finally did that. If I look back on this, if you talked to my friend at Palisades Hackensack Medical Center, he would say, “We shouldn’t have released him.” I was in no condition to do anything at that point, but I’m trying to man up and do it and I did.
What are the lessons that you learned from that experience that you now teach about? I know you speak all over the world. What are some of the things that you talk about?
One of the big learnings from that day came from that situation, but probably a couple of weeks after when it clicked in my head. I was in doing a lot of media with a lot of the crew and a lot of the passengers. I was on Good Morning America with other passengers, and the crew, and we got done. We were sitting in the green room talking and stuff. One of the passengers started getting very emotional. It was an emotional outburst. I’m sitting there thinking, “What’s wrong with this guy? We survived the plane crash. We are on national TV and how bad can he get?”
All of a sudden, I found out later that he was going through a divorce and he lost his job. His meaning of the plane crash was devastation. I start thinking, “How many times in my life have I judged somebody quickly before I understood their backstory or a little bit about them? What does that cost me financially, emotionally, and relationship-wise? How many times have we judged somebody quickly and we don’t even want to talk to them?”
That’s what’s going on in this country. We’re judging people immediately. We can’t even have a conversation without getting into an argument. I said, “If I could change that one thing, be less judgmental, how could that help me?” I started doing that and that’s opened up everything in my life where I’m at. I believe what Martin Luther King said, “Judge people by the content of their character.”
That’s the biggest lesson out of this, but one of the things that played out that day is awareness. You got to be aware. You got to understand what’s going on around you. You can’t just let somebody else direct you all the time in your life. You got to stay aware. I wrote about one of the key skills that day played out for me in my blog.
This is the key skillset everybody needs right now. Whether you’re going to look for a new job or looking to be an entrepreneur, it is the skillset set of anticipation. It’s the ability to anticipate what’s going on next and see the bigger picture. I talk about the alternative vision for the future that Bill taught me. You have to anticipate. I realize that there are two skillsets that I coach people on now. If you want something, you better be able to anticipate. If you can help somebody anticipate their next move and help them, it’s your asset.
The second, which played out exactly during the plane crashes, is resourcefulness because you don’t have a lot of resources when you’re in a plane crash but if you can use the resources that you do have then become resourceful. People are looking for people who are resourceful. There’s not a lot of empty money going around and resources are available all over the place. You got to be able to use your skillsets in a way to be an asset to somebody else. It is anticipation and resourcefulness.
Once all of this was over, you were on the TV programs. You didn’t go back to work with Tony or did you?
I did for a couple of years. In fact, late in February, which is about a month and a half after this all happened, he had an event in Secaucus, New Jersey. His assistant called me and said, “You are going to be there.” I’m going through all this stuff. I said, “I’ll be there.” I show up and I wasn’t of much use to him that weekend. We were doing our pre-event get-together. I said, “I want to give you a heads up on something. I’m probably going to have more media here than you will.” He starts laughing.
I knew what was happening. CBS and everybody else were showing up outside because I was there. I was pretty useless to him at that event, but at least I was there for him and he saw me show up. I wanted to show up for him because he showed up for me that night. I talk about loyalty. I’m big on loyalty. You got to have your team’s backs or you’re never going to have any trust whatsoever with him.
I’m surprised Tony didn’t have you come to speak.
I’ve had a couple of things. He’s been very kind to me. You got to remember those are Tony’s events. He pays a lot of money to have those events.
From there, you went on to start speaking, holding events, and teaching. What was that like for you?
Initially, I was doing churches and local events. I didn’t know what I was doing. I was being asked every fifteen minutes to do something. I was trying to work and serve Tony. I wasn’t not serving my family, which was something I looked back on, I would’ve changed. I took the Zig Ziglar approach. I said, “For the first 50 or 75 things I’m going to do, I’m going to do it.” What Tony told me was this, “Speak from your heart. Don’t ever take notes.” I’ve focused on that. A couple of things opened up. One thing that opened up was when I was invited to speak at a fundraiser for the American Red Cross in Charlotte.
They asked me if I would speak. It was a Red Cross month in March a couple of months later. Of course, I was going to do it. They were there for me three times that day. I’m going to do anything I can. I came and all of a sudden, they raised over $100,000 at that event, which got my name out. I was asked to speak to one of their major events in Washington DC which happened to be Supreme Court. I had the opportunity and they raised $6 million that night. All I did was speak. I don’t know if you’ve ever been to the Supreme Court, but you have to have a justice sponsor you.
You can’t just walk in and say, “I want to do an event.” The justice who was sponsoring that now is Justice Anthony Kennedy. When I got there, I got introduced to him, “Come to my quarters. Give me three minutes about what happened that day.” He took me into his quarters for about 2 or 3 minutes. I share with him a little bit of what I shared with you. He came back out and I got my picture taken on.
I’m like, “I’m with the Supreme Court Justice.” It’s not because I’m the greatest, but because I gave up being judgmental. I said, “I’m here to serve. It’s not about me.” That is what opened up everything for me. That gave me a strong reference for if you come from a serving leadership heart, things will open up for you in your life.
What’s next for you? What’s your plan for what’s coming up?
We’ll go back to Bill’s notes. Back in 2016, when I was writing my book Moments Matter, I found the notes in this credenza. I made a commitment back then. One of my major missions is to teach what he taught me to 1 million people in 10 years. This is my mission Tony always taught me, “Make the big goal and you’ll figure out how to do it. You don’t have to figure out how to do it right now.” It’s taken me a few years to figure out how we’re going to do it.
I got my new book out. I’m running another book for the 15th anniversary. I’ve got my magazine called Moments Matter magazine. I’m sharing information with other people in my magazine. I’ve got a course out teaching certain lessons of this in the course. I’d love to speak because that opens up talking to people one-on-one in Orange group sessions. That’s how we’re doing all because I found them and I made this big goal and all of a sudden, I’ve started to figure it out.
My last question is, what’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever given or gotten?
One of the best pieces of advice that I learned, but not in this terminology, I’m rephrasing it, is faith removes hesitation. What does that mean? A bigger belief system is, “Things happen for a reason.” If you have faith, it removes any hesitation in taking action. It’s those people who don’t have faith who get stalled and stifled. They don’t make progress. One of the last things I talk about when you hear me speak is gratitude.
Let’s start with gratitude and grace is fueled by gratitude. My thought process is the more gratitude you give, the more grace you get. The more grace you give, the more faith you have. The more faith you have, the more action you’re going to take to improve somebody else’s life. I talk about this at the end of my talk because I want people to understand, “You can’t have fear with gratitude.” You have gratitude. You’re giving thanks to something bigger. That faith has come inside you and you will have determination, persistence, and perseverance to be able to push through when those times get tough.” What happened to me on January 15th is a reference for that.
You’re about helping and about unleashing other people.
It’s all about becoming a servant leader and helping other people first. Don’t expect anything. My kids are Millennials and Gen Z-ers. Sometimes they expect things first. In fact, I had somebody come to me and all he did is wants. He didn’t offer anything. If I ever speak to a younger me, the piece of advice is, “Give first. Give something of value to somebody first instead of asking.” That’s what Bill did for me. He gave me those tickets. He didn’t have to do all this. It taught me a great lesson. “Buy this gift first. It comes back tenfold in life.”
If people want to follow you, learn from you, hire you, or have you come to speak, what’s the best way for them to get in touch with you?
The easiest one is to go to my website, DaveSandersonSpeaks.com. You can see all my materials. You can get in touch with me. I’m coming out with new content. I’m committed to coming out with new content every week. If you want to see my new content, I post that on LinkedIn. I get to mention the lessons around anticipation and why it matters. Go to LinkedIn and view good content and some new information from me. If you want to check in, go to DaveSandersonSpeaks.com. I’d be honored to connect with you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to be here. I enjoyed knowing your story and am excited that you survived that crazy day, but it’s great to see that you’re giving back much and making an impact in other people’s lives. Thank you so much for being here.
Thank you for having me. I hope you have a blessed day.
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It’s time for our segment, which is Guess Their Why. I’m going to pick Amelia Earhart for this episode. I’m picking her because she and I both spoke at an event. I got to hear her story she’s not related to the original Amelia Earhart. It’s a fascinating story of how that came about. That doesn’t take away from what she completed and what she did on her own. As a college student, she learned to fly a plane and then took on the task of flying around the globe and she did it. You got to see her story and hear her speak sometime because it was well done. Great lessons. I believe that her why is to find a better way and share it.
She was always looking for better ways. When something got stuck, blocked, or wasn’t going to turn out like she thought it would, she would work and find another way. She would find a better way, and everything kept getting better. I believe that Amelia Earhart’s why is to find a better way and share it. If you’ve not yet discovered your why, you can do so at WhyInstitute.com with the code PODCAST50. If you’ll love the show, please don’t forget to subscribe and leave us a review and rating on whatever platform so that we can bring the why to one billion people in the next many years. Thank you much for reading and I’ll see you in the next episode.
Dave Sanderson is an Inspirational TEDx Speaker, survivor, author, philanthropist, and nationally sought-out leadership speaker.
When US Airways Flight 1549, or ‘The Miracle on the Hudson,’ ditched into the Hudson River on January 15, 2009, Dave Sanderson knew he was exactly where he was supposed to be. As the last passenger off the plane on that fateful day, he was able to use the skills and resources he learned throughout his life to not only survive but help others. He emerged from the wreckage that day with a new mission: to encourage others to do the right thing when faced with a life-changing decision.
This profound experience changed his life. Today, he travels the globe sharing his inspirational and motivational leadership messages to help people make a difference in how they do business and live their lives.
Named one of Inc.com’s Top 100 Leadership speakers, Dave travels the world to share his inspirational leadership lessons, raising over $14.8M for the American Red Cross.