Category: WHY

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So You’re In a Relationship With a Make Sense…

So there we were. Me, a Trust, just wanting to be heard and listened to while sharing what happened during my day. However, what he heard, was an opportunity to try and solve the problem. I was only sharing my frustration with a coworker and he immediately began to divulge routes I could take to solve this. The desire to solve problems is compulsive for someone with the WHY of Make Sense. It is their gift to the world, and is important to understand that, even though this may not be what you are asking for in that moment.

Sometimes all you need is a little support

At times they may seem a little bit more rigid than they mean to be. Because Make Sense people are so intelligent they may not understand why someone else isn’t “getting it” when it came so easy for them. This can cause some friction in relationships when they are spelling out something for you and you may not be understanding or asking for a quick fix, but rather were looking for support. You will need to let them know ahead of time whether what you are telling them requires their help or if this is a venting session – as they simply can’t help themselves from trying to solve. Make sure to remember they aren’t belittling what you are saying or don’t think you can figure it out on your own, they are just trying to help you.

What they provide

In a relationship a Make Sense person does bring a lot to the table. They bring the ability to help, not in a Contribute way, but in their own way. When you and your significant other are planning a vacation, a dinner date, or a concert, be thankful you are in a relationship with a Make Sense. They can quickly come up with a game plan for travel, driving, hotel, put it in a spreadsheet and set it up quickly. The rest of us know this would’ve taken us weeks, 3 liters of tears, and 10 travel agent live chats to complete. But for a Make Sense they do their research, understand it, and map out what needs to happen – badda bing badda boom – done!

I think the most important thing to know when in a relationship with a Make Sense is that they can’t help themselves but try and help you. It is their way of nurturing the relationship, and they aren’t trying to make you feel less than when they’ve solved it before you were even done fully explaining the situation. You will be thankful for this ability many, many times over the course of your relationship. You will be thankful you have them to lean on and that they will do all the hard thinking for you. Make Sense people make a great life partners, taking down one obstacle at a time for the both of you.

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So You’re In a Relationships With a Trust…

I write to you as someone with the WHY of Trust. As I am typing this I am having trouble finding the words because I don’t know who all will be reading this, if I can Trust them, or if I even should be divulging information that one could potentially use for evil. But here it goes anyway…

Trust vs. trust

When anyone is asked what is important to them in a significant other, they will often use the words “trust” or “loyalty”, and while most people would agree that it’s important – there is a difference between that quality in someone and it being their WHY. With the WHY of trust, trust becomes a different animal. It becomes something that is very black and white. It is something that can be lost or begin to fade because of small things, not just because of the obvious things that cause loss of trust in a relationship.

Things you may not realize are important

If you are in a relationship with someone who has the WHY of Trust there are certain things that can cause loss of trust overtime that you may not even realize, things that you may think are no big deal. If you are not on time, or cancel plans often, this may feel like no big deal to you and you don’t understand why it would upset them or cause them to retreat but – it’s you showing signs of distrust to them. They are only protecting themselves from bigger let downs and they need people who show up and do what they say they are going to do. If they had a plan lined up and you suddenly change plans on them this can cause the same reaction. Another thing to note is they are usually pretty agreeable people and may say “no, it’s fine, another time” but the more times they have to say that the more difficult it will be to repair.

What you can do

To someone with the WHY of trust – it is ALL about the relationship, the bond, the closeness. It is important that they feel they know you, all the nuances of you, all the details of your day, and that if you can share that with them – they too can share themselves. To someone with the WHY of Trust it is all about the little things. They don’t need something super flashy, they just want you to show you care and love them with little things. Maybe a little love note saying to have a good day, or you saw their favorite snack while at the store and got it for them. They want to know that they are top of mind to you because you are top of mind to them. I do believe that reassurance is important as well when it comes to Trust. I also believe it is important the reassurance is verbalized and not just “they know how I feel…” I think communication is very important and it is important that it isn’t surface level.

When you are in a relationship with someone with the WHY of Trust they usually have quite a bit of emotional endurance from a past of it being broken, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t sensitive at the core. When there is Trust – the sky is the limit and you are lucky to be with someone who will put you first, who will be your number one teammate, and who will never break your trust!

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So You’re in a Relationship With a Contribute…

Holding hands

Well aren’t you one of the lucky ones! Being in a relationship with a Contribute is truly a blessing. They will give and give and still be ready to give more. They will pour their whole souls into the relationship and put the other person ahead of themselves at all times.

Contributes have a knack for nurturing a relationship. They want to help it grow and flourish and will do whatever it takes to ensure that you feel happy and are a priority.


If you are one of the lucky ones to be dating a Contribute, and if your WHY is not Contribute, make sure you are not just taking, but also giving back to them. While they may be uncomfortable in accepting gestures or accepting the contribution, they deserve it. Make sure that they are also taken care of and not being taken advantage of. They have the tendency to give until there’s nothing left in the tank – this can leave them exhausted and feeling under-appreciated.


It is important to note that even a small gesture can mean the world to them – something as small as leaving love note or their favorite snack on the table.

When in a relationship with a Contribute you will always have fun. As they are willing to do whatever and roll with the punches as long as everyone is having a good time. Cherish this relationship and don’t forget to give love to your Contribute today!

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Are We Clear?

“Every Clarification breeds new questions.”

-Arthur Bloch

If you or someone you know has ever been personally victimized by the never ending questions of a Clarify, say “aye!”


I kid, I kid.


People with the WHY of Clarify cannot move forward with the task at hand until they are clear. For those of us with the ability to problem solve quickly on our own, it can feel like you are frozen in time answering their questions. However, clarifiers are able to carefully put one foot in front of the other with self-assurance – the certainty that the rest of us may not have when moving so swiftly. Their uncanny ability to ask a lot of questions can be time consuming, but the confidence that they have in their next move is unmatched.


 Not only will they ask many questions, but they also want to make sure that you fully understand as well. Because they know when things aren’t clear, when they are murky, things may not be done in the proper way. They need you to hear what they are saying, and repeat it back to them in the same manner so they know that you really get it.


The world needs people with the WHY of Clarify so that projects, visions, businesses, and communications are all crystal clear. It may be time consuming to get to that perfect clarity, but it can be well worth the wait.

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A Quick Look at an In-Depth WHY

“I learned no detail was too small. It was all about the details.”
-Brad Grey

Mastery. This is a rare WHY. One of the most rare WHYs, in fact. The animal that is Mastery is an impressive one. Doing something halfway is not an option for them and skimping on the details is unheard of.

Mastery is such a particular WHY that it is easy to see if it is truly in someone’s WHY.os (WHY, HOW, or WHAT). These people will dive deeper than anything you’ve experienced before. Their breadth of knowledge and desire to learn every nuance is other-worldy.

Those with the WHY of Mastery will find something as simple as bread making and become obsessed. They will try different methods, different measurements, different recipes, different temperatures, different cooking times, and anything possible to perfect the perfect loaf and get that perfect flakey crunch. Whereas the rest of us will look up a recipe and be satisfied with a loaf that rises at all. Those with the WHY of Mastery take this depth into their specific interests, loves, and curiosities of life. They may not desire this much detail for every aspect of their lives but only for what they truly have their eye and mind set on. And even with this incredible attention to detail, they may still feel they have so much to learn and yet to perfect it.

If you or someone you know has the WHY of Mastery or Mastery in their WHY.os, learn from them, for they are sponges of knowledge and see life through a multi-faceted lens.

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One Way to Do Things

"There are two ways to do something: the right way, and again."
Navy Seals

If you have the WHY of Right Way or know someone with the WHY of Right Way, that quote probably made you laugh, like it did me. There is nothing quite like the WHY of Right Way. There is no room for grey areas, there is no such thing as wiggle room, and there is no such thing as close enough. While such absolutes may seem rigid, the world needs Right Way people because they are who keeps everyone on track with the processes and structures they create. 


The Absolutes

 

These will look different to each person with the WHY of Right Way, but these WILL exist for them no matter what. Maybe their absolutes are how a shirt should be tucked in, how to fix a car, or even how you brush your teeth. There is a right and a wrong way for things to be done.

For those of us who do not have a Right Way bone in our body, we see the world as having a lot more wiggle room and have the ability to go more with the flow. This may not rub a Right Way person quite right so be sure you can communicate WHY to WHY. Understanding each other’s WHY and how each person sees the world is why the WHY Institute exists after all.

 

WHY we Need You!

 

Processes and systems are what helps the world go round. Many of us, including myself, find ourselves straying from the task at hand, an initial goal, and we tend to zig and zag. People with the WHY of Right Way keep projects, meetings, and life on track. They have an uncanny ability to implement a proven process and never deviate from it. Right Way people are truly impressive, and the rest of us are in awe of your discernment.


Keep doing things the Right Way!

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Better Way Tips & Tricks

“Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.”
― Unsourced, misattributed to Maya Angelou

The above quote felt fitting for the WHY of Better Way. It seems to be a constant battle of whether they feel confident they’ve landed on the BEST. If a Better Way is unsure if something could be better, then it will never feel quite right to them. They feel as though their best, the best of someone else, or a project, could always be improved. They can often be their own worst enemy in slowing down processes because of the fear it could be better.

Tips and Tricks for Being Better Way:
1. Aim for ‘Good Enough’

If your WHY is Better Way it can be easy to spiral into a place where nothing is good enough because it could always be better. And to your point, yes, anything could always be better, but to avoid getting stuck – “better way” it until it’s good enough, then learn to move on.

2. Perfection is a myth

Better Ways sometimes feel perfection could be achieved, because they are such high achieving personalities. Don’t let this myth stop you from feeling you’ve achieved something great!

3. Embrace other’s gifts

Often, when having the WHY of Better Way, and interacting with someone with a different WHY, you may come off as you know better than them. Make sure you are embracing their unique way of thinking also and letting them speak to their WHY.

Tips & Tricks for Interacting with a Better Way:
1.When working with a Better Way: Don’t spend a lot of time on a project

Now, this may seem counterproductive, but if you spend weeks and weeks on something, once you show it to them, they’re going to change everything anyway. Bring a super rough draft that you haven’t developed a lot of attachment to yet, so when they offer all their changes, they’re easy to make and won’t frustrate you as much.

2. Diffuse the Bomb

You can “diffuse the bomb” of them constantly trying to better things by asking if it’s good enough to move on. Or you may be able to in a relationship by saying “You’re doing that Better Way thing again” and they’ll realize it and laugh.

3. Understand The second part of their WHY: Find a Better Way, AND SHARE IT

Better Way people do truly want to help. Though it may come off as they think they know more than you or what’s best more than you, it comes from a good place. They want to share the best way they’ve found to do something, and they want to help you out.

 

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Make a Little Sense of It

“All things make sense; you just have to fathom how they make sense.”

– Piers Anthony

 

When we meet someone with the WHY of Make Sense, it’s easy to realize they see the world a bit differently than we do, a bit quicker than most of us. What may take us hours or days to figure out, they can interpret, understand, and articulate in a matter of minutes.

 

In a world where the rest of us can be completely paralyzed trying to solve a problem, whether it be in business, relationships, life, or even a math problem, people with the WHY of Make Sense have the gift to quickly take in information and make it usable. If you were lucky enough to sit next to a classmate with the WHY of Make Sense, they were easily able to help you pass calculus by making the teacher’s explanation understandable and useful!

 

Often times an individual with the WHY of Make Sense can come off as a “smarty pants” or a “know-it-all” but once you begin to understand how they think, how they see the world, how it is their way of helping you, you begin to really respect them rather than feel minimized by their knowledge. Their brain works at a million miles an hour to fully take in all of the information being thrown at them and sort through it. They are quick on their feet, quick to understand information and quick to utilize it.

 

The WHY of Make Sense is a great WHY to have. The rest of us count on you to help us make sense of the complicated or confusing. You make great study buddies, coworkers, and great sponges of knowledge!

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A Look At Trust

We all like to believe that trust is important to us. We all like to believe that we are generally trustworthy, and we all want to be trusting of others. While trust may rank high in your core values, it cannot bear the weight of someone with the WHY of Trust. Understanding what trust truly means to someone with the WHY of Trust is essential to having a good relationship with them. Whether the relationship is between coworkers, family, friends, or a significant other – it is imperative to know.

Trust in The Workplace

A camaraderie is very important to feeling valued in the workplace for someone with the WHY of Trust. Not only from desk to desk, but that they can grab a beer after work or talk about their weekends together. When it comes to employer, employee relationships you can count on them to get their tasks done on time and while praise is not necessary, it helps them know you see the value in them. Trust’s love a fun, family-style work environment.

Trust in Family & Friends

Having trust and feeling trusted in these relationships is crucial for someone with the WHY of Trust. If this foundation is broken from a young age it can hinder their ability to trust in others and themselves for many years to come. When there IS trust, however, these relationships become a great strength for those with the WHY of Trust. They feel as though they can fully be themselves, reach out for help, share mundane details of their day, and share their lives with these people. They can share secrets, keep secrets, and flourish in these trusted relationships.

Trust in Love

If you ask anyone the most important thing in a relationship and they will always invariably tell you trust! While trust is important in all relationships, being in a relationship with someone with the WHY of trust is particularly important to understand. If they have plans and you change them, it can feel like you’re slowly chipping away at what they can count on you for. If you are late or make them late, they feel as though they’ve been let down. With someone with the WHY of trust, you have to be especially attentive to the little things, because while they may seem minute to others, these little things are what allows a Trust to trust themselves and feel trustworthy. On the flip side if there is full understanding and communication of the weight even small things can have on a Trust in a relationship, there is no limit for what these two can do together! Remember though – there are no second chances with a trust.

Continued…

There are no relationships without trust. Knowing someone close to you has the WHY of Trust can be crucial to interacting with, working with, being friends with, or loving them. They can take a lot more to heart than you realize and usually have a go-with-the-flow temperament so it may be tricky to understand what is wrong. Communication and openness is key with the WHY of Trust and understanding what little things like being on time can really be weighted as. They will never let you down, will be there for you no matter what, and be someone you can confide in about anything! What a wonderful WHY to have.