Post Written By: John Livesay
What terrifies you?
Is it public speaking? Is it failing in front of your friends? Is it calling or reaching out to someone you don’t know?
Research shows that many people have a fear of public speaking. Turns out, there is a word for it! Glossophobia!
My friend Steve Rohr, wrote a book called “Scared Speechless” and when I interviewed him on my podcast, he said that this fear is instinctual. When we are in front of other people we are separate from the herd and we fear being attacked.
What about the fear of failing or looking “stupid” in front of your friends or co-workers? This fear stems from the need to be perfect at everything you do, even when you are trying something new for the first time.
Finally the fear of calling someone “important” or powerful to see if they want to hire you, talk with you, or even buy something from you. Recently, a client said they were facing the “Terror Barrier” of not feeling good enough to even reach out to a new prospective client.
We dug a little deeper and found out that the barrier can be broken down when you let go of the real fear, which is the fear of rejection. What causes the fear of getting rejected?
When we get a “NO,” we think it means “No forever.” What if it just means “No now”?
When we get rejected we start to reject ourselves and what we are selling. What if we reframe that to “I never reject myself or doubt my abilities. No matter what the outcome.”
No matter what terrifies you, here are the three solutions to any fear:
- You control your thoughts. You are the thinker thinking the thoughts. When you feel fear in your body, ask yourself, “What if I am just excited, versus scared?” They feel very similar; we can rename it.
- Tell yourself you are enough and what you have to offer is valuable. Instead of being intimidated to reach out to someone new, tell yourself you are doing them a favor. “This is their lucky day to be hearing from me.”
- What other people think about you is none of your business! Let go of having to be a perfectionist at anything. Instead, think of yourself as a progressionist that celebrates your progress. When your identity is so strong that results don’t make you go up and down the self-esteem roller coaster, you are free to overcome any fear that has been holding you back. The next time you feel any form of fear, just tell yourself “I’m safe and fearless.”