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So You’re in a Relationship With a Challenge…

 

As I am writing this, the song “Why are there boundaries” by FKJ started playing on shuffle and I can’t think of anything more Challenge than that. They live with the notion that boundaries are meant to be pushed and they live with this zest for doing things differently – including in relationships. This zest has a lot of potential for fun and a lot of potential for conflict.

There seems to be a lot of preconceived ideas and thoughts around what it means to be someone with the WHY of Challenge, and what it means to be the significant other of someone with the WHY of Challenge. This does NOT mean the relationship itself is a Challenge, but it does mean that they take a little more understanding than others if you want it to be long lasting.

There are a few quirks to be aware of when your significant other has the WHY of Challenge – because they see the world so differently than the rest of us. They don’t see the world through a normal looking glass, they see the world through many different lenses, in all of the colors of the rainbow, and they see a world of possibilities. They don’t understand how anyone could be okay with the same routine, with following a recipe to a tee, with needing to be on time, with needing to dress normal, or with being, in their eyes, boring. This can cause some conflict if you are, say, someone with the WHY of Right Way. Understanding that your significant other will probably never do things the normal or “right” way, is important, and if you can see this as their gift rather than “wrong” that is what will make your relationship successful. Understanding that consistency may not be their strong suit is another pillar of being in a relationship with a Challenge. This can lead to many spontaneous adventures in life but can also lead to frustration if you were relying on them for something specific.

“What sets you apart can sometimes feel like a burden and it’s not. And a lot of the time, it’s what makes you great.”

-Emma Stone

Now, no part of seeing the world differently is a burden, nor should it feel like that. Once you know their WHY is Challenge, you can see how this can make them special and how this is a gift. There is no such thing as normal, which means there is no such thing as a dull moment. They are always the life of the party, and have a magnetic pull on them because of their unique energy. They don’t embarrass easily, because what fun would that be? So they are usually out there dancing, laughing, and then ready for the next spontaneous adventure.

More than anything, it is important to articulate your WHY to your significant other as well as know that they have this unique WHY of Challenge. The ability to and power of speaking WHY to WHY is unmatched with this WHY, because probably more than any other WHY, you should expect the unexpected.

3 replies on “So You’re in a Relationship With a Challenge…”

I know this one intimately and you are right on the money Bella! Challenge can be a challenge if you think of it that way -or a gift if you think of it that way! Without the WHY of Challenge, so many of todays innovations and amazing companies wouldn’t exist -Apple, Southwest Airlines, Harley Davidson, Virgin Galactic, Tesla, etc….

Love to hear that, Lisa! I have people in my life that feel the exact same about being called “normal”! We need people like you!

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